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Pain and Suffering and Pain

by Harambesnotdead

I don't wanna wait for my life to be over! 

Just kidding yeah I do. 

Don't worry that was just some musical accompaniment to begin this hot righteous pile of literature I'm about to lay on you. My name is Will and I don't want to hang myself. (only one of those things in the previous sentence is true, I'll give you a hint; I actually want to hang myself).  For those people who want to review this, I'll give you some advice, don't read into it too much. But hey I'm not the boss of you. Want to know who I really am? You sure you want to know? Ok then, if not I guess we'll move on. I cant hear your thoughts. so the next time I ask you a question yell as loud as you possibly can at the monitor. 

Part II

    A ride across the river

Upon my travels in Central America I came to a life changing, paradigm shifting observation. Jon era gumps is superior to Dan era. Get Pranked

Part III

A part for the gart

And next time you want to give money to a strange Korean woman in a big beige hat, remember she is a prank lord. 

These are all true stories, and more. Season three comming soon. like comment and subscirbe to TTCC on youtube.

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User avatar
325 Reviews

Points: 689
Reviews: 325

Sun Sep 25, 2016 5:24 pm
SunsetTree wrote a review...

It seems like here, you just wanted to fill space until you could advertise your YouTube channel. In other words, you're trolling. Which is cool, because trolling is fun every once and a while, but I'd like to see something serious from you.

But since it's an advertisement, I'll review the advertisement and tell you that this doesn't do much to make me want to check out your channel. The beginning is amusing, but you don't actually say what it's about. What am I going to get from watching one of your videos? If you're going to advertise, try to make what you're advertising seem like something I really want, whether it's a video, YouTube channel, product, or otherwise. Without actually addressing your product and what it's about, the advertisement itself becomes a waste of time for everyone involved.

Anyway, my advice: Find a better way to advertise your channel. This is a really small website, and you're not going to find anyone who is interested in it. People who read stories to review are often really busy and don't have that much time for things like this. If you're interested in sharing actual stories, which I doubt, I hope you do. Otherwise, you're best taking your advertising elsewhere

User avatar
120 Reviews

Points: 4842
Reviews: 120

Fri Sep 16, 2016 5:48 pm
RippleGylf wrote a review...

Hello! Ripple again.

This piece has a fairly unique format, so I am not completely sure what type of piece you were intending to write. You intentionally contradict yourself often, further confusing the matter. Yes, contradictions can be used for effect, but in this scenario, it just doesn't make sense. The steadily increasing indents remind me of poetry more than anything, and the title reinforces that notion, but the extremely casual and nonchalant tone contradicts that. You break the fourth wall, as far as YWS is concerned, so it can't be intended for any other readers, which really limits your audience.

I noticed a few typos, namely

Jon era gumps is superior to Dan era.

like comment and subscirbe to TTCC on youtube.

"gumps" I assume refers to GameGrumps, and "subscirbe" should be subscribe.

Overall, the only purpose I could ascertain was further advertisement of TTCC. I am fairly certain that YWS policy discourages such advertisement, and it seems like everything you post is trying to get people to subscribe to this channel. I would recommend that you try to not mention TTCC in every comment you make.

you are my favorite person

You can't blame the writer for what the characters say.
— Truman Capote