“491 dollars, 492 dollars, 493 dollars, 494 dollars, 494 dollars and 25 cents, 494 dollars and 50 cents, 494 dollars and 60 cents, 494 dollars and 70 cents, 494 dollars and 75 cents, 494 dollars and 80 cents, 494 dollars and 85 cents, 494 dollars and 90 cents, 494 dollars and 95 cents, 494 dollars and 96 cents, 494 dollars and 97 cents, 494 dollars and 98 cents, 494 dollars and 99 cents, 495 dollars.”
I finally finished counting all the change in my money jar. I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans and look with appreciation at the stacks of bills and piles of coins on my table. It has taken me one month and one week at my weekend tutoring job to save up this much money. I finally have enough for a plane ticket.
My phone buzzes on the table with an incoming call. I pick up and hear his voice on the other end. “I miss you,” he says. “I’ll see you soon,” I tell him. I’m carefully putting all my money back into my money jar as he tells me about his day. I’m imagining myself there with him, walking him home after class, going to our favorite restaurant, running to the swings at the park. I smile. All this work was worth it to be able to finally see him again.
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139,745 Literary Works • 672,689 Reviews
Hi there
along with the other reviewers I felt undeniably happy while, and after reading this short story. It is relatable and warm, and while it does not give information regarding the who, what, where, when, why of the characters, it gives just enough to the point where we understand what the narrator is going through, but there is still some mystery behind the story.
It stayed true to its category; short story; realistic, narrative, but wasn't cliche or unlikable. Good job!
I have only one thing to negatively review, but it can be fixed quickly
“I miss you,” he says. “I’ll see you soon,” I tell him.----for this sentence you should make the "I miss you" into a new paragraph because it is a new speaker. Likewise, when the narrator responds, it should be yet another paragraph because there is a new person providing the dialogue. Understand?
Overall, I loved it
Hey there!! Ejay here for a quick review.
Simply beautiful. This piece of yours not only started of in a unique way, but also ended with just the right servings of nostalgia and warmth. I felt pretty happy towards the end...( You have stayed true to your name..) .
I loved it
The title is also quite appropriate.
Overall, It's a great piece of writing which I enjoyed reading a lot..
Cheers !!
Regards,
Ejay