Young Writers Society

I really liked it and seemed very funny. The starting is very interesting and I like he you jump right into the story.
[quote]
“I’m supposed to be removing you and this… sofa, from the road. Don’t you realize you’re a disruption to your fellow road users?” said Parkin, eyeing the couch. Was this one of his?
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Here it's very funny because it seems like he cares more about the sofa than his daughter.


[quote]
“Look, can you please stop having a heart to heart and just move the bloody couch?” A driver shouted from the front of the queue.
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I really like it here because the father came in the mild of his lunch irritated and ends up having to be told to "get on with it"

So in short, it was a well rounded story and very funny.

Hello! As a new member on this website, I get what you mean about wanting to see if your stories are readable. I often wonder to myself if people will like anything I write as well.

But I really like your story, even if you had written it for "testing" or as a joke. (Also, that joke was v E r y funny, thank you very much.)

I wish you the best of luck on this website, and I hope you have lots of fun writing.

hey hey, julianna here for a review.

i was excited when i read your title and description because i love a good “ok boomer” joke more than anyone. and feel quite strongly about their two faced attitude.
but we don’t need to get into that.
i know this is a short story and you can’t cram every little detail in there but i needed to see more emotion. no, i needed to feel more emotion. i would recommend you re-read your piece and really get connected to it. this is a small part of you that you’re posting.
i really liked how you gave context clues about her mom.
i also like the stereotypical dad/daughter relationship going on. she did something he didn't approve of and she shows no remorse. i found a small part of my personality in patricia.
overall a well written story. i loved it!
great job and keep writing.
xoxo ~julianna

Hi! I actually enjoyed reading this a lot. I loved the characters and how you portrayed them through your writing. It was easy to read, had a good, steady kind of flow, and was just generally enjoyable. Other than that, I think "mam" is spelled "ma'am" if I'm correct? But yeah, just really good! I liked it a lot!

-Highflyer <<