When you grow up and fledge your wings,
you'll find a wider world of things,
you'll leave this place where we once stood,
but don't you leave me here for good
the things that we once feared before,
will scare and frighten you no more,
for when you fly fear will be gone,
like ground that you once tread upon
you'll fly through harsh winds without fail,
the blue sky you would swiftly sail,
and on the forest floor i'll stay,
to watch the sky for you all day
and so before you fledge your wings,
and find that wider world of things,
stay here and dream your dreams to be
within this little world with me.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Well done.
I think most of the little nit picks (very small things) were cleared up in the first review so I'm just going to tell you what I liked about it.
It's so very emotinal. I love writers and poets and work that does not shy away from gritty and angsty details.
And the metophor you used was great, and you carried it through the whole work.
So good job.
Hello! I'll read this poem and automatically thought it was great. It was fluent and spot on rhyming.
REALLY GOOD!