16+

A piece of Star Wars fan fiction.

Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

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Prolog.

Steam curled lazily from the cup of herbal tea as Darth Plagueis — known to the galaxy as Hego Damask — entered his private office.

A datapad rested in his hand, its surface alive with shifting star charts and layered surveys. He had reviewed the information three times already, yet he found himself drawn back to it — intrigued.

He set the cup down with deliberate care and lowered himself into the chair behind his desk. The terminal activated with a soft hum, bathing the room in pale blue light.

Magnificent.

The navigator’s work was exhaustive: hyperspace vectors mapped with impossible precision, planetary mineral reserves catalogued in meticulous detail, routes that should not have existed at all.

A soft chime announced another presence.

The doors parted.

Darth Sidious stepped inside, expression composed, hands folded within his robes.

“Master,” he said smoothly. “You have reviewed the data?”

Plagueis inclined his head slightly. “More than once.”

Sidious approached the terminal, his gaze lingering on the glowing maps.

“Her surveys are… remarkable,” he murmured. “Entire sectors charted where the Republic sees only empty space.”

Plagueis studied the holographic display in silence before answering.

“Talent such as this does not appear by accident.”

Sidious’ smile was faint — almost imperceptible.

“No,” he replied. “And talent can be… directed.”

Plagueis lifted his tea, considering the swirling steam.

“Do you intend to hire her?”

A pause.

“Perhaps,” Sidious said softly. “Or perhaps we simply ensure her work serves us.”

The holographic stars spun slowly between them.

Chapter 1

The skybus was cramped — far too cramped.

Sapphire braced herself against the narrow seat as turbulence rattled the transport, passengers shifting shoulder to shoulder in the crowded cabin. Metal groaned overhead. Someone cursed under their breath as the vehicle lurched again.

Behind her, a sudden jolt sent a Togruta passenger stumbling forward.

A hand brushed against her backside.

Again.

Sapphire turned sharply, amethyst eyes narrowing as she glared over her shoulder.

“You gonna tell me that was an accident again?”

The Togruta lifted his hands defensively, looking irritated rather than apologetic.

“What do you expect?” he snapped. “We’re packed in like cargo. It’s a skycar, not a luxury cruiser.”

Another shudder ran through the vehicle, tossing everyone slightly sideways.

Sapphire didn’t look away. Her stare lingered long enough to make the Togruta shift uncomfortably before she turned back toward the viewport.

Outside, the endless cityscape of Coruscant stretched in layered towers and glowing lanes of traffic. The skybus dipped lower, descending into the underlevels where sunlight rarely reached.

She glanced at her datalink, checking the remaining distance to her destination. Not far now.

The automated driver announced the next stop in a dull monotone through the PA system — words she barely registered. She only cared that the ride was ending.

The transport hissed as it docked. Passengers shuffled past one another, some forcing their way aboard while others spilled onto the platform.

Sapphire stepped out and inhaled slowly. The air was thick with machine oil, damp metal, and the press of too many lives stacked on top of one another.

She moved away from the skybus quickly, rolling her shoulders beneath her oversized coat. The fabric tugged where it was fastened tight along her back, constraining what lay folded underneath.

At the edge of the landing platform she paused, scanning the traffic streams below and the maze of walkways climbing into shadow. Her gaze flicked from lane to lane, tracing routes instinctively — calculating distance, elevation, flow. The map in her mind shifted and rearranged as she planned the fastest path forward.

She exhaled sharply and slipped the backpack from her shoulders.

Enough of this.

The coat came off first, shoved none too gracefully into the pack. Then the overshirt. Cool air brushed across her back as she reached behind herself and released the final restraints.

With a quiet snap of tension releasing, her wings unfolded.

Double-jointed limbs extended outward, membranes stretching taut between dark, angular bones. They were closer to bat wings than anything avian — powerful and lean, ending in tapered, spiked tips that caught the dim light. The joints flexed once, testing freedom after being bound too long.

A flick of motion behind her and her tail slipped free, uncoiling with a slow, practiced sweep. It balanced her stance instinctively, shifting her center of gravity as though the air itself called to her.

From the backpack, she pulled a pair of goggles and slid them over her eyes. The lenses sealed with a faint click. A strip of cloth followed, wrapped tight across her mouth and nose. Down here, the wind carried more than just air — exhaust from speeders, industrial runoff, the metallic tang of overheated circuitry. The underlevels had a taste to them, and it clung to the lungs.

Her wings folded halfway back, poised.

Without hesitation, Sapphire stepped off the edge of the platform.

Gravity seized her like a living thing.

The city surged upward as she dropped, cloakless and silent, diving between streams of traffic. Neon reflections streaked across her lenses. Her tail adjusted in subtle, instinctive shifts, correcting her angle by fractions of degrees. The wind roared in her ears, tugging at membranes and hair alike, trying to wrench her from her line.

Then—

Her wings snapped open.

Air caught hard beneath them. The violent plunge softened into controlled momentum. The fall became a glide.

She carved through the canyons of Coruscant, banking between towers that rose like durasteel cliffs. Traffic lanes flashed past in bands of color — red, blue, white — blurring into ribbons of motion. The muscles along her back and chest flexed in coordinated rhythm as she drove her wings in measured strokes, each beat deliberate, efficient. Not frantic. Not wasteful.

A cross-current rolled off a passing transport and struck her broadside. She compensated instantly, tail sweeping to counterbalance as her left wing dipped, then corrected. The city was a living wind tunnel — unpredictable, crowded, and unforgiving to the careless.

Her eyes tracked the vertical layers as she descended, calculating distance and timing in the span of heartbeats.

There.

An opening between two intersecting traffic streams.

She angled her body and folded her wings slightly, letting herself slip into another controlled dive. Her breathing remained slow and steady, measured against the rush of air.

She was always a little ecstatic when she got to dive like this — controlled, intentional, efficient. Gravity did the work. She only had to guide it. Every descent conserved energy, every adjustment deliberate. No wasted motion. No unnecessary strain.

Pressure built along her membranes as speed increased, stretching taut between bone and air. The force pressed along her ribs and shoulders, tightening the muscles in her back as buildings blurred into streaks of shadow and light.

For a few heartbeats, the galaxy belonged to her.

Her wings spread wider, membranes pulling taut as they caught the air. She angled sideways, letting drag slow her just enough for a civilian cruiser to roar past in a blur of chrome and exhaust. The vehicle skimmed so close she felt its displaced air buffet her wingtip.

The driver leaned halfway out of the cockpit, shouting something lost to the shriek of traffic. A hand flashed upward in a rude, universally understood gesture before the cruiser vanished into the flow.

Sapphire only smirked beneath her face covering.

With a subtle roll of her shoulders, she tipped forward into another dive, headfirst, folding her wings tight to reduce drag. The wind clawed at the membranes as she accelerated, pressure building along her back and ribs. Her tail aligned with her spine, acting as a living rudder, making minute corrections that kept her arrow-straight.

She counted levels as she fell.

Towers. Skybridges. Traffic lanes.

Each layer slipped past in a vertical blur of light and shadow. The numbers ticked down in her mind with mechanical precision.

Close now. At the last possible moment, she snapped her wings open again.

It was time to land.

Air caught hard beneath her. The drop converted into forward momentum as she leveled out sharply. Reflected lights flickered across her goggles as she skimmed through a narrow gap between looming structures.

A few powerful wingbeats steadied her descent — controlled, efficient, no wasted motion. The muscles along her back flexed and released in smooth rhythm. Her tail shifted instinctively to counter minor crosswinds spilling between the buildings.

The platform rushed up to meet her.

She angled her body, flared her wings, and bled off speed in a final, controlled glide.

Her boots struck metal with a muted clang. Her knees flexed to absorb the impact, wings sweeping back once for balance before folding tight against her spine.

She landed as though gravity had merely returned her to where she belonged.

Without pause, she pulled the quick-release tabs on her backpack, swinging it smoothly around to her front as her wings compressed tightly against her back. In one practiced motion she tugged her overshirt on, fabric sliding across still-warm muscle, then shrugged into her coat and sealed the hidden fasteners along her spine.

The wings vanished beneath layered cloth as if they had never existed.

The pack settled back into place with a soft click.

Moments later, she was moving from where she had landed, doing her best to disappear into the crowd.

By the time anyone realized she had passed them, she was already gone.

She slipped through the back entrance of a cantina, swallowed by shadows, noise, and the thick scent of recycled air and fried spice.

Once inside and settled into the familiar rhythm of the place, Sapphire leaned toward the kitchen doorway and poked her head in.

“Hey, Emmett. I’m back.”

The owner looked up from a scarred cutting table — a squat, broad Klatooinian with thick arms and a permanently tired expression etched into his features. He brought a cleaver down onto something that vaguely resembled meat with a heavy, wet thud.

“Sapphire,” he grunted. “You have my rent?”

“Yeah.” She gave a small nod. “Client just paid. Credits should show up within the hour.”

He studied her for half a heartbeat, then gave a short grunt and returned to his work, the steady rhythm of steel against bone resuming without ceremony.

Sapphire moved through the cantina at an unhurried pace, keeping her head down as she passed crowded tables and loud conversations. No one paid her much attention, and she preferred it that way.

At the back of the establishment, she slipped through a service door and into a quieter hallway leading to her private space.

Her vault.

The only place she ever truly let her guard down.

She keyed in a passcode, then inserted a physical key beneath the panel. The lock disengaged with a soft click, followed by a muted thud as the heavy door released its seal.

Inside, she shut it firmly behind her. The outside noise vanished at once, replaced by a thick, insulated silence.

The backpack came off first then the harness. She set the pack on the table in the center of the room and tipped it forward, spilling its contents out in a loose scatter.

Metal cylinders rolled and knocked against one another, their surfaces scarred with age — some polished smooth by years of handling, others dulled and pitted with oxidation. A dark, faceted pyramid slid free last, heavier than it looked, coming to rest near the edge of the table. Its sharp angles caught the low light and seemed to swallow it rather than reflect it.

She reached beneath the tabletop and pressed a recessed switch. Overhead lights hummed to life, washing the room in a muted glow.

Her amethyst eyes moved slowly over the spread, cataloging each piece by habit, by memory.

Around the room, other treasures rested in quiet reverence: a battered Mandalorian chest plate mounted in one corner; fragments of Old Republic armor arranged with deliberate care; blasters whose designs hadn’t been manufactured in centuries. Relics. Trophies. Fragments of forgotten wars.

But her attention remained fixed on the table.

This was what mattered tonight.

She picked up the weathered, oxidized cylinders one at a time and carried them to a nearby shelf where the others rested. One was noticeably newer, its metal still holding a faint sheen. Another lay split cleanly in half, the interior exposed where a blade had cut through it. Her fingertips brushed over them as she set the new additions in place, sharp nails faintly scraping the worn metal.

Satisfied, she turned away and grabbed her datapad, setting it on the desk.

Next came the coat, the overshirt, and the harness — each tossed into the dirty bin without ceremony.

Last remained the pyramid-shaped object.

Again, she noted its weight.

Dark and faceted, it rested in her palm with a subtle, deliberate heaviness — not burdensome, but present. Solid. Certain. Her sharp eyes studied it in silence, not for its surface this time, but for what lay beneath — history, purpose, the quiet gravity of something that had endured longer than most beings ever would.

For a moment, she simply held it.

Then she carried it carefully to a display case set into the wall. The transparent panel slid open with a soft hiss. She placed the artifact inside, her fingers lingering for the briefest moment before withdrawing.

The panel sealed.

The lock clicked.

Only then did her shoulders ease.

She stripped out of the rest of her clothes and disappeared into the small refresher tucked into the corner of the room. Water hissed briefly, steam curling against metal walls, then silence returned.

A few minutes later, she emerged with her wings loosely folded against her back, their tips resting just above the floor. She wore simple boy shorts and a wrap secured around her chest — practical, comfortable, the fabric worn soft from use.

Without the heavy layers, her build was clearer. Lean muscle defined her shoulders and torso, strength shaped by years of flight rather than brute conditioning. The musculature along her back — the engine of her wings — lay relaxed now, though the power in it was unmistakable.

Subtle scales traced along her forearms and down her shins, catching the light with a muted sheen. They continued higher as well — faint ridges dusting the curve of her shoulders, gathering slightly where her neck met bone, as though something older and more draconic lingered just beneath the surface. A scattering of smaller scales patterned along the sides of her abdomen, tapering as they descended, barely visible unless the light struck them at the right angle.

They were not heavy plates or obvious armor — nothing so dramatic. Just a quiet reminder of what she was.

Small ridged spikes angled back from her elbows, more natural armor than ornament. Her hands ended in dark, clawed fingertips — sleek and tapered, sharp enough to resemble fashion if one ignored the damage they were built to do.

She paused in front of a small mirror mounted beside the bunk.

Amethyst eyes met their reflection, faintly luminous in the low light. Her split pupils narrowed slightly as she studied herself — not with vanity, but with quiet assessment. Strands of dark hair framed her face in uneven layers, softening features that might otherwise seem severe, hinting at something untamed beneath her carefully maintained control.

Satisfied — or perhaps simply exhausted — she looked away.

A compact cooling unit hummed quietly near the bunk. She opened it and pulled out a wrapped nutrient bar, tearing it open and finishing it in a few efficient bites, more fuel than meal.

Then she lowered herself onto the bunk, wings settling carefully around her as she turned onto her side. The membranes folded with instinctive precision, never tangled, never careless — even in rest, nothing about her was truly unguarded.

The room fell quiet again, lit only by dim panels and the steady, muted glow of her collection.

Within minutes, sleep claimed her.

Part 2

Outside, the Republic slept in peace.

Elsewhere, a blade waited.

The young apprentice approached the door, his footsteps measured and silent.

He could feel them inside.

His master… and his master’s master.

Their presence in the Force pressed against his awareness — layered, cold, immense. The decision had already been made. He was here to receive it.

He stopped outside the chamber and waited through several steady beats of his dual hearts. His breathing slowed. His senses sharpened. He did not intrude without permission.

Within, voices murmured — not debating, but refining.

“The navigation data is valuable,” said Darth Plagueis, calm and analytical. “Its precision exceeds Republic standards.”

“We will secure her services,” Darth Sidious replied smoothly.

Not must.

Will.

The distinction mattered.

“My spies report she is selective,” Sidious continued. “She has sold to the Hutts. There are whispers of dealings with the Bando Gora… and even a personal meeting with Komari Vosa.”

The corridor seemed to tighten around him.

The apprentice did not react outwardly.

But he listened.

Vosa.

He had dealt with her not long ago.

The last time he had seen Komari Vosa was within the brutal confines of Cog Hive Seven. The memory surfaced unbidden — steel corridors, blood, silence.

What did she have to do with this navigator?

His focus sharpened.

If the woman had crossed paths with the Bando Gora… if she had moved within Vosa’s circle…

Then this was no coincidence.

Curiosity stirred — sharp, unwelcome.

He crushed it.

No.

Questions were indulgence. The will of his master was not.

He slowed his breathing again, centering himself in the dark calm of discipline.

He would listen.

Inside, silence lingered before Darth Plagueis spoke again.

“The simplest solution,” he said evenly, “would be to hire her.”

Even the apprentice could not fault the logic.

“She sells her services,” Plagueis continued. “There is no secrecy in that. I could approach her as Hego Damask. A patron seeking navigation expertise would not arouse suspicion.”

A faint pause.

“Or,” Plagueis added thoughtfully, “you could send your waiting apprentice. Direct assessment may prove… efficient.”

Outside the door, the apprentice remained motionless.

Within, Sidious answered.

“She is independent,” he said. “Independent beings often mistake autonomy for strength.”

The air seemed to grow heavier.

“To approach her openly would grant her leverage,” Sidious continued. “And leverage is not something we concede.”

Silence followed — deliberate, weighted.

Then:

“Enter.”

The door parted with a muted hiss.

He stepped forward at once and lowered himself to one knee, head bowed.

“My master.”

The chamber was dim, lit by the cold glow of rotating hyperspace projections suspended between Darth Plagueis and Darth Sidious.

Sidious regarded him.

“You have heard enough.”

Not a question.

Maul lifted his gaze slightly.

“You will locate the navigator,” Sidious said. “Assess her capabilities. Determine her loyalty.”

A fractional pause.

“And if loyalty proves… insufficient?”

The room stilled.

Maul’s voice did not waver.

“She will be corrected.”

Sidious’ smile was almost imperceptible.

“See that she is.”

Sidious turned, gesturing toward a region of space rotating within the holographic projection.

“There is a world,” he said calmly. “Felucia. Obscure. Unremarkable to most.”

The projection shifted — a dim star, its planetary signature barely visible beneath atmospheric distortion and tangled hyperspace vectors.

“Beneath its surface lies a Sith temple. It has remained… undisturbed.”

Maul did not move.

“You will hire her,” Sidious continued. “Under appropriate pretense.”

A deliberate pause.

“If you cannot discern the presence of a Sith temple concealed upon that world…”

Sidious’ eyes flickered — molten yellow beneath shadowed lids.

“…then I shall be forced to reconsider certain assumptions.”

Maul lifted his gaze slightly.

“Of what, my master?”

Sidious regarded him in silence.

“Of you.”

The words fell without emphasis.

“Dismissed. You have your mission.”

Maul bowed his head.

“Yes, my master.”

Comments & reviews · 4
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Tikaya
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Tikaya wrote a review · Tue Apr 21, 2026 5:31 pm

Heya, considering I liked the premise of all your stories so far and was only getting really frustrated about you-know-what, let’s see what you have here.

My first thought is actually… Why is the Prolog not formatted the same as the Chapter titles. (The second thought is: why not post prolog and chapters separately for more targeted feedback?)

I really like this sentence: “The terminal activated with a soft hum, bathing the room in pale blue light.“ Flows really well.

I suddenly have Nami-vibes from a character I haven’t even met yet XD Does that make the Sith Arlong and his friends? =D

That’s also a neat sentence: “the press of too many lives stacked on top of one another”

I wish you described the place where she was unfolding her wings etc a bit more clearly. I know she moved to the edge but I still kinda imagine the place being cramped with ppl @.@

I like that you keep her chosen profession in mind when describing. That works well.

That said… I feel like your writing kinda still feels all AI. A lot of passages have these hallmarks of AI phrasings. Even if you stopped using it or just use it sparingly, it really crept into your writing and that makes it so difficult to find stuff to praise or to comment. Because are these wordings your own, these mistakes, these repetitive sentences something you can change or something that will keep happening because it wasn’t you who made them?

In any case, I like Sapphire and I like her species (I kinda imagine her like a Gargoyle now and I loved them XD)
I just wish we knew why she’s on Coruscant. You have her in the train and then you have her flying but you never mention why she’s there. Just that she has a clear destination.

I feel like this sentence doesn’t really say anything: “She landed as though gravity had merely returned her to where she belonged.”

How? “though the power in it was unmistakable” In what way is it unmistakable?

Okay…. Uhm why is called Part 2 and not Chapter 2…?

I like this phrasing: “The corridor seemed to tighten around him.”

I also like this, reads well: “Direct assessment may prove… efficient.”

I don’t like this tho: “The air seemed to grow heavier.” Feels like its just a repetition when you have the seemingly tightening corridor just a couple of paragraphs earlier.

Oha I didn’t know Sidious already had Maul while Plagueis was still alive. I thought the Sith had this whole one-two thing, only a master and one apprentice and stuff…

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Razel
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Razel wrote a review · Tue Apr 14, 2026 4:13 pm

Star Wars rules!

You have a strong grasp of the Star Wars pulp-noir aesthetic. Sapphire is an intriguing addition to the underworld. But. Uh. The groper on the bus beat is a tired way to establish that a female lead is tough. Sapphire is a winged, clawed, artifact-hunting navigator; she doesn’t need a Togruta jerk to prove she’s got a backbone. Her landing and disappearing into the shadows of a cantina did more for her character than the confrontation on the skybus.

I mean. Sapphire isn't a character yet. She’s a checklist of every "cool" fantasy trait imaginable. Amethyst eyes? Check. Bat wings with spiked tips? Check. A tail that acts as a rudder? Check. Scales on the shoulders and abdomen? Check. Clawed fingertips? Check. When you pile this many "special" physical attributes onto one person, the character becomes a caricature. It feels like you’re trying to compensate for a lack of internal depth by giving her every anatomical feature in the book.

Alsoooo what is up with the pacing? You spend paragraph after paragraph describing the physics of her flight. It is a bit much how much screen time is dedicated to her gliding through Coruscant. By the third time we heard about her efficient motion, I was begging for her to just hit the ground already. The Sith are planning a galactic coup! What about that?!

“She is independent,” he said. “Independent beings often mistake autonomy for strength.”


Spoken like a true Palpatine! You have a great ear for his specific brand of manipulative wisdom. I wish the story focused more on dynamics like that.

I love Star Wars as much as the next person, so I get it. You’ve written a great Sith story and a very self-indulgent OC story at the same time. If she’s a navigator, show us her navigating data, not just her navigating a traffic jam! Things like that. Humanize her. Make her character stand out.

Well. I'm wishing you luck with this project, Greyhound!

This is the first time ever actually publishing fan work and replying to critiques from my other work I was told I don't describe my characters or my MC's well enough so I think I've went too far that way so your criticism is actually very much appreciated I do have more work I want to do on this but I need to figure out how to get into the headspace of another character I can get into the headspace of palpatine and Darth plagueis pretty well but there's another character I want to work with who I find fascinating but I don't know how to channel

Could you PM me on how do I "show navigation data". Cuz the MC is going to be a cartographer and navigator how do I show not tell that

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Greyhound26
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I am trying to do better to. Explore the environment that my MCS are entering. I may have gone overboard. I'm trying to learn to be more descriptive. How they look, most have gotten feedback regarding that.



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The poetry of the earth is never dead.
— John Keats