The Chameleon
In a fabulous crowd, the music plays high,
People wear masks, the chameleon sighs.
They all seem to know him, but no one can see,
The depth of the colours inside of me.
His body feels tired, the mind it is weak,
Even he doesn't know what appearance to seek.
The chameleon's learnt his true colours to hide,
To keep all his hues in brilliant disguise.
He knows how to disarm with a flash of his smile,
To convince all around him that he's happy a while,
But when all the world is tucked out of sight,
The chameleon sleeps all alone every night.
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Heyy!
Am moon.
I really liked this poem! The chameleon metaphor works so well for someone who hides their true feelings and changes themselves to fit in with everyone around them. I especially liked the lines about his “true colours” and “brilliant disguise” because they connect really nicely with the idea of pretending to be okay.
The contrast between the fabulous crowd and the chameleon being alone at night was also really beautiful and a little sad. The ending especially hit me because after all the smiling and pretending, he’s still completely alone when nobody is watching. The rhyme and flow also made it really easy to read. Really nice work, keep writing! <3
Thank you Moon - that's a really lovely review and I appreciate you taking the time to share it with me. 🙂
Oh my goodness that was incredible! I love how you rymed so well. I also loved the wording. The words, "fabulous", "depth", "appearance", "hues", "disarm" and "tucked" really stood out to me. I also love the metaphors, "people wear masks", meaning they hide their true self. "The colors inside of me" meaning the full truth within. "The world is tucked out of sight" meaning the people are no longer looking. P.s. if I got any of these wrong please let me know what they really mean. Keep creating fabulous creations.
Wow that's really good of you - thank you - it's exactly as you outlined - I wrote that at an enormous junction in my life having moved countries completely alone and knew none of the people around me as I adapted to a new beginning.
This is my first review on this website, so I'll let you know I'm trying my best here but I will offer some of my opinions on your work. First, I like it a lot. It perfectly explains the contrasted characterization between the chameleon and the others. His seclusion and tiredness lets us know more in practice. There's a great flow, rhythm, and ends well, especially referencing the melancholic reality.
I do have a bit of a question and possible criticism. Why in the first stanza there's a switch of first person and third person? Just curious for the choice of that. As well as I think there should be more show and tell for the points brought, like when mentioned that his body feels tired. Besides that, it's pretty good.
Hello!
Awesome to read your feedback.
The switch from first person and third is because I'm writing from a personal perspective but I wanted to try it as a 'cinnecting to the reader' as in 'Im describing feelings to you but want you to know their mine and I'm talking to you' perspective - but take your point.
This was my first ever time of putting this out there - it's a poem I wrote during a time if fitting in alone in a new country where everyone I was with - I had never met before.
It's something I want to revisit and update so it's really kind of you to give some useful feedback. Thank you
Hey
I see what you mean.
I like the connection of the experience of culture shock and feeling different from the people around you. Thank you, but of course. Thank you for showing us.
Hey Greg! 😊 Loved this one. That last line, "the chameleon sleeps all alone every night," hit me hard 🥺 It's so quiet and lonely compared to the party at the start. And "even he doesn't know what appearance to seek" is where the chameleon stopped feeling like a metaphor and started feeling like a real person.
Couple of nitpicks though 😅 that "him" to "inside of me" switch in the first stanza threw me. If it's on purpose, make it a bit clearer. "The mind it is weak" also sounds a little stiff, like it got bent to fit the rhyme, and "happy a while" runs long and wraps awkwardly. A fresher image than masks and smiles would make it feel more like your chameleon too.
The loneliness under all that colour is really well done though. Keep writing like this! ✨
Hello!
Awesome to read your feedback and as I posted above - sorry for the duplication but hope it does justice to your comment.
.Hello!
Awesome to read your feedback.
The switch from third person to first is deliberate. I’m writing from a personal perspective, but I wanted it to feel as though I’m describing the chameleon to the reader before briefly letting the mask slip — essentially, “I’m describing these feelings to you, but I want you to know they’re mine and I’m talking to you.”
But I absolutely take your point that the intention could be clearer.
This is actually the first time I’ve ever put this poem out there. I wrote it during a period when I was trying to fit in, alone in a new country, surrounded by people I’d never met before.
It’s something I’d like to revisit and update, so it’s really kind of you to take the time to give me some useful feedback. Thank you 😊
The switch from third person to first is deliberate. I’m writing from a personal perspective, but I wanted it to feel as though I’m describing the chameleon to the reader before briefly letting the mask slip — essentially, “I’m describing these feelings to you, but I want you to know they’re mine and I’m talking to you.”
But I absolutely take your point that the intention could be clearer.
This is actually the first time I’ve ever put this poem out there. I wrote it during a period when I was trying to fit in, alone in a new country, surrounded by people I’d never met before.
It’s something I’d like to revisit and update, so it’s really kind of you to take the time to give me some useful feedback. Thank you 😊
Thank you for telling me this. 🫶 Knowing the story behind it makes the poem hit even harder, and I'm really glad you trusted me with it.
I'm working on tracking down some of the other things I've written thanks to this site!
There's something strangely liberating about it — like letting your emotions out into the wild. 😊
I spend a lot of my time narrating other people's words, so it's refreshing to be surrounded by so much writing and to read through other people's work. I keep finding pieces and thinking, "I'd love to narrate that!"