Hello there, GreenTulip!
This is Moonwatcher here for a review! ^-^
I'm going to start off by saying that I don't really agree with the last review. The last reviewer mentioned adding rhyme to improve the flow, and you don't have to do this. I actually advise not to, because in most poems I feel as if rhyme gets in the way of the poem. My reasoning being because although every word has a rhyme, but that rhyme may not be the word that you're looking for, which could get in the way of things. However, I'm not going to cover much of that, because you don't have rhyme in your poem as of now.
I'm not very sure about whether or not this poem is directed toward a specific person, or society as a whole. I picked up that it might just be about hoping that someone would change their perspective about something, although this could be about just changing someone. This is an interesting take, considering that something people tend to say is "people never change" or "never try to change someone".
I swear that you
Have double standards,
When it comes to me
But if I point it out you get upset.
The punctuation here is weird. I'm not sure if the third line here should be the beginning of a new sentence, or the end. I think it could be the end, but if the whole stanza is one sentence then I think it should all have a comma at the end except the last line (being that "But" is a conjunction).
I don't think there's anything really wrong with the format. It could just be that you're on mobile and so it looks a little bit more odd/different to you.
I think that if you incorporate the use of imagery, you could make the poem a lot stronger. Imagery helps convey stronger emotions/feelings and can turn bland and boring phrases into something with a lot more meaning, which I feel that the poem lacks.
That's all I have to say about this poem. I hope this review helped you out, and have an amazing day! ^-^
Points: 11345
Reviews: 117
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