You decide to go to an abandoned maze. The sign in the front says: “Beware of the stone angel statues in the middle of the maze. People have mysteriously disappeared around that area. Those angel statues are called the Weeping Angels. They may look like they are weeping because they cover their eyes, but it’s not true. They are the deadliest, most powerful, most vengeful life-form that has ever been produced. They are also very physically strong, capable of snapping necks, but they rarely do. It is told that they are as old as the universe, but no one knows where they came from. They turn to stone as soon as a living being lays eyes on them. When no one is watching they move toward their target. They cover their eyes to prevent from accidently looking at each other, hence the name “Weeping Angels.” If you unfortunate enough to be touched by one; you will be sent back into time—before your birth. They survive on the energy that would have been used by you. If you happen to become one of their targets, whatever you do-- don’t blink. Blink and you’re dead. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look away.For heaven’s sake, don’t blink!”
Disregarding the warning sign, you go into the maze. You feel a strange sensation as you explore the large maze. As you walk through the maze, the fog becomes thicker and your heart becomes heavier. After several hours of wandering, you end up in what appears to be the heart of the maze. Your eyes become locked upon several large stone statues of some sort of disfigured creatures. The faces are deformed and difficult to see any clear features. But there is one feature you can recognize; a revolting, twisted, devilish grin with sharp jagged teeth. You froze in freight, like someone—something is holding you in place. The statues appear to be looking right at you from about 500 feet away. There is something very unsettling and disturbing about these statues.
After a minute, you realized you can still blink. You blink once. It’s as though the statues had moved closer towards you. You think to yourself that it’s just your wild imagination. You blink again. The statues still appear to be moving closer. You try not to blink anymore, but your watery eyes get the best of you. As you blink several times, the statues creeps closer and closer. It eventually reaches the point when the statues are only 5 feet away from where you’re standing. The grins on the statues appear to be larger and more disturbing then ever. You are struggling to keep your eyes open. As your eyes water and become very irritable, you become fearful on how close your next blink will bring the statue. You blink.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,293 Literary Works • 673,080 Reviews
This is so amazing! i love how accurate this is. the originality towards the facial expressions of the angels are epic. you should write more of this but in different points of views and different situations. maybe even from the angels point of view.
RoyalHighness here to review!
Whoa. Whoa. WHOA.
I've never seen Doctor Who, but I've been on tumblr enough to get the general concept.
This is really cool! I love the way you ended it--totally suspenseful, definitely left me wanting more!
I've always thought about this aspect of DW because when it comes to staring contests, I'm a complete failure. This is basically exactly how I would react in the same situation. Great job! Your descriptions are really, really great; it was like I could /see/ everything happening.
Overall, nine stars of ten! I hope you expand this, because I'd totally read it. Great job!!!
(you die) I like it since weeping angels are so scary it wasn't that bad and I like doctor who is your name from a good man goes to war never mind that but your hook was pretty good at the end you forgot... YOU DIE makes since loved your wordage my favorite was Disregarding the warning sign, you go into the maze. You feel a strange sensation as you explore the large maze that was really epic but this part was not very good You decide to go to an abandoned maze. The sign in the front says: “Beware of the stone angel statues in the middle of the maze. I think you could of rhymed a some words
Completely agree with thehotinphycotic " I love Doctor Who. So of course I had to read this. I liked this generally, and you did a good job of telling the story in the second person. The thing is that the protagonist should have more consideration. After reading such a frightening passage, why would they continue without a second thought? You could find a synonym for the word maze, as it eventually gets repetitive. At "You froze in fright...", you switched tenses from present to past. It should be "You freeze in fright...".
I am a doctor who fan to the extrweme and while i was reluctant to read this incase it wasn't as perfect as the show i was impressed that you actually made the weeping angel even more frightful and amazing than the show which is extremely hard to do. The ending is so perfect you have no need to explain further than " you blink." I was freaked once more at the description of the statue. While i would love to see more description to the statue such as the fangs and horrid glare that they shw as the you blink and they come closer and closer it would help in showing the people who have not seen the show the truly frightful scene the weeping angels hold. And one other nick pick is that i would make the Tv message a whole other paragraph. Overall, Very Very well written keep writing all see you in the tartius
Hey, thehotinpsychotic here to review!
I love Doctor Who. So of course I had to read this. I liked this generally, and you did a good job of telling the story in the second person. The thing is that the protagonist should have more consideration. After reading such a frightening passage, why would they continue without a second thought? You could find a synonym for the word maze, as it eventually gets repetitive. At "You froze in fright...", you switched tenses from present to past. It should be "You freeze in fright...".
I love the cliffhanger ending! Good job on this.
Okay...Doctor Who is wonderful, glad to see some beautiful Whovian stuff being posted on here ^^
Anyways...onto the review!
I see this is written in second person as if we were a companion...or just a plain bystander who happened to walk by. I'd say, if I ever did see that sign, then I'd be freaked out. Brownie points to you on that.
I like how despite the fact this is second person, second person, in this case was the wiser choice if you wanted to make the reader feel the sensation of not having to blink. I wonder what holds us down...fear? I mean, if we were stuck like Amy once was, then, sure...
Anyways, to sum it up, excluding my commentary, pretty interesting. Try to add more details when writing and more striking details in order to make the readers tremble even more or whatever effect you so choose...
LadyOfTheDeathRoses for a review,
Alright, I must say first of all I am Whovian so I absolutely adore this! Other than that I didn’t find many mistakes other than one.
Freight, replace it with fright.
That’s all honestly and I would love to see you write more of these! I’m curious as to what you can come up with considering all of the fantastic villains in Doctor Who. Alright I think I’m done, happy YWSing and I hope to see more!
Allon-sy, Geronimo, Oh for God’s Sake! Do-Wee-Do!
LOTDR over and out
I saw the title and just had a slight guess as to who may have written it... I was right.
P.S. Meep!
hehehehhe
)
I'm not a huge Doctor Who fan but I remember watching the Weeping Angels episode and being terrified (I'm 20 by the way!) so when I saw this fanfic I just had to read it!
I quite like how it is so short and not really much of a story (in terms of plot, characters etc.) because to me this piece seems more like the sort of writing you get in books on myths and legends. I feel the style of writing actually helps build the suspense and create a sense of fear because nothing is explained to the reader.
Loved the dramatic ending - and a clever idea to set the whole thing in a maze actually, since it is difficult enough to escape the Angels without being lost too!
Overall this was a really enjoyable piece of writing and a treat for someone who loved the story of the Weeping Angels so much!
haahha! Thanks TrudiRose!! That is how I originally planned it actually, with not much of a plot, characters, etc. My friends has been bugging me to put all my "Stories" into a book. I like to write how the imagination of the reader will take them into the story, freaks them out even more.
)
Thanks for your review
Ooooh, a Doctor Who fanfic! I haven't seen one of these in a long while...
You could've included the Silence! Now that would've been cool.
I like how you've used the Weeping Angels because they are one of the most intricate (in my opinion) creatures in Doctor Who. Although, I would've liked to see you mix it up a little.
Anyways, onto the actual reviewing, eh?
Fan fictions tend to be a type of story that many stray away from, myself included. But, this wasn't a bad fan fiction, just a tad lacking in details and narrative. By this I mean that you've not put much of a story into this. You've told us about a maze and how to beware of the center because of the Weeping Angels, but you've not given us much of the events occurring before entering the maze nor during your time in the maze.
You're telling me this as a fact; this is this, and that is that. You're not describing it to me. You could include one of the stories about a person who disappeared. You could also keep the fact of them being Weeping Angels a secret until you encounter them. Although, you then go on to talk about what they look like... but you could tell us all of this when you see them!
In all honesty, it was slightly predictable. Part of that had to do with the fact that I watch Doctor Who and love the Weeping Angels... but another part of it was because you didn't give us anything leading up to the main event, which was seeing the statues.
I would really like to see this being a longer short story; there are just so many other details you could of added. I highly suggest you doing so.
I really like your last sentence "You blink." It's short and effective, especially because of what happens with the angels.
I found a few spelling mistakes, but I'm not going to bother pointing them out, unless you want me too. If you do, shoot me a PM and I'll go through that with you.
All in all, it was a decent fan fiction. But, I would love to see more to it.
Good luck and Happy YWSing,
-Clarity.
Yep, I love DW :3
Thanks Clarity! I will get right on it. Do you have any specific ideas?
I wrote this as a short story/cliffhanger type thing for some extra credit in writing. I didn't have to add much detail, but I agree, needs more detail and to be longer.
Well, I think if you described your journey through the maze... that would make it interesting. You could introduce some other creatures from DW... like, seeing them in the maze or something. Get creative with it! But I would love to see more of the actual journey through the maze.
I'll add another creatures. I can mix it up a bit, and not just pull creatures from DW. I can maybe tie in a villain or two from Marvel or some place else. Maybe I should just stick to DW villains. hmmm.... any other Favorites?
This story was actually written for the reader's mind to lead them, for them to use the imagination side.
That's a good method to use, but without a few details, it's a little difficult.
Also, that sounds cool. But I'd stick to DW villains.
Hiya, here to read.,
\
\
I suck, you rock, we'll get through with luck.,
Okay, so here's the cheese, I read and tell you what I feel while reading.,
*it's just my feeling, don't take me seriously if you can't.,
And I read on and on, looking for that other quotation mark: never forget the pair of the quotation mark.,
I suggest that you use 'though they rarely do', rather than the word 'but'.,
Put a comma after 'they', cuz' that's the right thing to do.,
Okay, couple corrections., Should be 'If you're unfortunate enough...' ., and 'you will be sent back through time', better than 'into time' eh?
Okay, so fragments, or whatever you call them., I'll try rewriting that.,
'The faces were so deformed it was difficult for you to see any clear features.'
Just something like that.,
Okay, that was pretty funny., *kidding.,
It's spelled 'fright'.,
That was awkward, if you copy-paste your work from somewhere else, be sure it's the same font and size as everything else.,
Anyway, I love how you ended this thing.,
I like the whole point of the story, you'll just need a few corrections.,
So... keep writing, keep smiling, and
*rock.on.,
Yes! Thanks for the review! I will get right on the suggestions.
This story was actually all in the same font and such in the Word doc I had it in. But when I copied it over, It changed fronts (weird) and I tried to change it, but what I was doing was not working.
Thanks again for the review ^_^
You're very welcome.,