Published August 7, 2009
Although I don't actually know you,
your perfect in my dreams.
Although I've never really met you,
I've had dreams aplenty.
I don't know the colour of your eyes,
but I imagine them as blue.
I don't know your level of loyalty,
but I guessed your love is true.
I've yet to know your personality,
it's a mystery to me.
So I keep my fingers crossed,
that your loving, kind, and sweet.
When it's finally my turn,
and my day comes around.
My expectations are high,
so don't let me down.
I hold on to the imaginary,
the things beyond my keen.
I hold onto my present,
and vision things beyond belief.
Then it hits you, life and reality.
There goes your dreams.
Soaring among clouds becomes,
as unrealistic as it should seem.
I'm not saying reality is a bore,
but it's good to have an escape.
When life becomes to difficult,
hind in a life that's simply fake.
That's where I met you,
and all of your perfection.
It's where I would true,
love and affection.
I have to return to reality now,
I'm really going to miss you.
Although you don't exists,
I will always love you!
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139,457 Literary Works • 672,565 Reviews
Nice poem. I like the idea you convey of having an imaginary friend as an escape to the boredom of life.
I have to agree with Roon on this. It is really repetitive. Try thinking of something else to say in the last 2 lines.
I love this!
It should be "When life becomes too difficult". Did you mean to say "hide"? Hind is not a verb.
I didn't understand what you were trying to say here. The sentence structure didn't make sense.
Overall, it's a good poem and I enjoyed reading it. All it needs is these quick fixes.
Hello, nice to meet you, I’m Roon. I like this, it’s nice. There are a couple of things that need fixing, but apart from that the idea is original and fun. I think this is about havig an imaginary friend right? Someone to talk to when there’s no one else. If I’m wrong then sorry! Okay, so a couple of nitpicks to begin:
Okay, so this is quite repetitive in my opinion, you basically reword the first two lines. Also it should be you’re not your.
I quite liked this, but the last two lines seemed fairly forced. Also, there was no rhyme in the first stanza, and I don’t think you need to be perfect with your rhyme in the rest, so don’t worry about it. Jus make sure it flows. That will be better.
Wrong your/you’re again here. Right this stanza flows really well. Now you’ve gone back to no rhyme, well not a complete rhyme if you see what I mean. me and sweet don’t really rhyme, but I prefer that you have just let your ideas flow here.
Okay, the rest I love, really, I think you got more confident as the poem went on. It was a really great read, and you clearly have great poetic prowess. The only thing you really need to change is some of the slightly forced rhyme, and using the right your/you’re. apart from that, this is wonderful. I really like the way you show having an imaginary friend as not being immature. Everyone needs someone to talk to at times, real people don’t always match up to invented ones. I think a lot of people will be able to identify with this, so well done!
If you ever want another review, or just want to ask me a question, whether it’s about me or the poem, then just PM me, I don’t bite!
~ Roon