Rated 12+ for mention of violence.
She couldn't watch. Her eyes stung. Perhaps it was because she had been staring in wide-eyed terror for an hour. Or, perhaps, it was because she couldn't handle that much destruction.
She turned away and shut her eyes. The burning of them ceased, but nothing could stop what she heard. The sound of millions of voices crying out. Millions of hands reaching up, searching for someone to grasp, someone to save them. Millions of tears hitting the ground. Millions of people dying.
She clasped her hands over her ears as if she could block them all out, erase them from her mind. But it couldn't be helped. It never could.
She fell to the ground, hands over her ears, crying. She hadn't noticed the tears, but they taunted her all the same, displaying how weak her heart was.
Hands grasped her elbows and pulled her to her feet. She didn't have to open her eyes to know who it was. They were the same hands that had held her close, had pushed her away, had helped, had hurt, had caught her, had saved her, had ruined her, had loved her. She'd never forget his touch.
She threw her arms around him and buried her head on his shoulder, as if by holding him he'd take away her pain, her sorrow, her tears. But that couldn't be helped. It never could.
She knew long before he moved where he was taking her. They were going away from the burning town, away from the feel of death, away from the rememberants of her failure. She wanted to fight, but knew it would do no good. She was too weak.
"Come on," he whispered. His voice. It sounded too far away, to surreal. She felt as if by speaking he had broken a spell. The spell that had given her her last bit of sanity.
"You don't understand," she sobbed back. He didn't. But who ever could?
Without questioning her, he pulled her away. She didn't want to go. She couldn't just leave.
If I had just been a few minutes earlier, her heart whispered, I would have been able to save them all.
Though her eyes were still closed, tears rolled down her cheeks. I could have saved my mother, she thought, and my old best friend. My teachers. My friends. My enemies. My childhood.
A hysterical sob escaped her mouth as her heart burned with failure. He held her close, as if he could tame the flames in her heart. As if he could go back nine months, before any of this ever happened. As if he could save her from desperation, insanity.
But that couldn't be helped. It never could.
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139,276 Literary Works • 672,524 Reviews
This was so sad!!! It contained so much emotion I was blown away.
. You are an amazing writer.
I can't criticise anything. I really enjoyed this piece of work: it wasn't boring, it drew me in. I'm just struggling for words to describe it
I loved the repetition of the phrase 'It could not be helped. It never could' in many different forms.
There's nothing more to say. Keep writing and PLEASE NEVER STOP!!!
- Ignis
P.S - Tears are not a sign of weakness
Thank you all for your wonderful comments! :}
I don't usually post works like this, because I don't usually write them. I usually write chapters in this way--short, mysterious, compelling. I really can't find another way to write. I left it like this without explanation because this piece isn't meant to be explained--it's supposed to leave you wondering, asking yourself what happened. I want the story to be different for everyone, everyone to draw their own conclusions. Honestly, I don't even really know what happened.
Thanks again for the comments. :}
Love & Blessings,
Aushy
A truly excellent piece but just a bit too mysterious.
Perhaps you shud explain a little bit more to strike a perfect balance.
Hey there, GoldenQuill!
. I only caught one mistake, and it's super easy to fix:
I really like this! I wish there was tiny bit more detail (e.g. where is this placed, when is it happening, why is it happening), but other than that it was awesome
The italicized words should stop at cheeks, since she's not thinking that part.
Keep up the good work!
~~Lee-Anna
So good! A little short, but very good! I was thinking that maybe you should change the millions of people to a smaller number because you referred to the place as a town. Thousands of people might work better, unless you mentioned somewhere that it was more than a town. From what I understand, the town where she grew up was burned and everybody there was killed. Millions of people wouldn't make very much sense.
I'd like to echo the calls for expanding it. It was very good and I'd love a little more information such as what led to the burning. Great job!
I really like this! Perhaps you could of extended a bit further, like, where was she? How old was she? Why was she there? Why was it happening, all that kind of stuff. It was slighty too short for my likings, but anywhoos, other then that, it was really good.
Especially love the title, too.
I liked this one. It was short but it portrayed a huge amount of emotion, story, life, in a couple of paragraphs. It was mysterious and intriguing.
I just found this:
Dying,
Keep up the good writing!!! You should write romance-ish stories more often
-Crescent