Justice

To start out I'd like to say that I really liked this piece. I feel like haikus are a very underrated form of poetry so I like that you made use of them. I didn't detect any problems in the grammar or the syllable count. My favorite stanza was,

"The oak leaves turn brown.

The creatures give in to death.

The rose surrenders."

I really liked the last line in particular. It gave the stanza a haunting feel that really worked well with the rest of the piece. I also really liked the concluding stanza of this poem. Ending this dark poem on a hopeful note made the reading experience more enjoyable. Now for my critiques.

There are some inconsistencies in the punctuation. I know there isn't a right or wrong way to punctuate poetry, so most of this is just my personal opinion. In my experience, haikus are not punctuated at all. If it were me, I would delete all punctuation as the poem really doesn't need it. However, if you choose to keep the punctuation, I would suggest using only periods (no commas).

Other than that, I think this is a really solid piece. Keep up the good work! Happy review day!

Wow, touching and honest, this was a true monument to the loss of our humanity. Short but concise. The only this that didn't seem right was when you wrote: “Waste twists in the gale," whereas before you had written “Toxin feels the air", and “chemicals taint the water" . It might be better with out the in. Just a suggestion Great Job, keep writing!

Hi there. Since you reviewed my poem, I thought I'd return the favor.

I liked reading this string of haikus. I thought that you did a good job with tying it all together.

You had one mistake on the fourth line. You forgot the 's' on 'leaves'.

Also, there were two lines were you didn't meet the syllable requirement. 'One can be the hero.' was six syllables instead of five, and 'Avenging the lives lost,' is six syllables instead of seven.

Keep writing!

I really do love the way you wrote this. The symbolism is beautiful and you almost had the 5 7 5 patter perfect.

"One can be the hero." is 6 syllables when it should be 5 you can solve this by changing can be to is.
"Avenging the lives lost," is 6 syllables when it should be 7 once again you can easily fix this by adding all between avenging and the.

I also noticed you have an error in subject verb agreement. "The oak leave turn brown." this can be fixed by saying the oak leaves turn or the oak leave turns. You pick.

Also as far as punctuation goes I would do this.
"Toxin fills the air.

Chemicals taint the water.

Waste twists in the gale.

The oak leave turn brown.

The creatures give in to death.

The rose surrenders.

Though few are ready,

One can start the race for life.

One can be the hero,

Fixing our mistakes,

Avenging the lives lost,

Bringing great justice."

Overall i love your poem and I'm sorry I'm so pick *W*. Keep writing!
XOXO Gabby