Published January 24, 2011
This one may be a bit hard to decipher but it's basically a poem about life's brutal kicks and punches.
Lying,
-Concrete grass-
Dying,
-Fatal slash-
Crying
-Of what you stash-
Alone again.
Fought the war.
Right here again.
Life so poor.
A pool of blood.
Bring in the flood.
Laugh at me
-one more time-
Go, just take it!
-My last dime-
Howling!
-Such an unseen vision-
The sun has risen,
brand new day.
You bite
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,581 Literary Works • 673,533 Reviews
Thank you! I just wanted to try a style that could emphasize my point better.
Overall I really liked the poem. It was a bit different to read in the beginning but I soon became accustomed to it. I loved the fast-paced motion you kept alive throughout the poem. It reminded me of the frantic beating of a heart with an adrenaline rush right before it dies. Very beautiful poem.
This is pretty cool, I liked the unusual setup and prose of writing. It really rolls off the tongue when you say it aloud.
Thank you so much!
WOW!! I Mean W-O-W!!! it was such a realistic and touching poem.....Loved it....Wonderful Job....
Keep It Going!!