This is set from the perspective of a dog living in a dog-pound where animals die on the spot, are killed, starved, etc. These types of animal shelters do exist. They're sick, we need to speak up.
(I wrote this one a long time ago, I think I was twelve, so it may not be amazing or anything like that. I also write long poems, I don't write many short ones so please don't tell me I need to shorten it unless I have some un-needed stanzas.)
My eyes are watering,
glistening and shiny
as I watch the small world through bars.
My head is aching all the time,
my ears sting with the cries around me.
They yelp and whimper and cry out in fear,
and I can't do a thing about it
because the same is happening to me.
Baying to the sound of torture,
the tune of yelps and barks.
Howling to the unseen moon,
I know it's up there
past the dark.
Singing in my wordless voice,
my song of death and decay.
Bleeding out the fear and pain,
my skin just cold and drained.
The grate beneath my feet is ice,
jagged, chilled and pained.
My dead sister lays beside me,
unmoving, cold.
Oh, so cold.
They didn't bury her today,
perhaps they never will,
and here, alone, I'll always lay,
the blood drips down like rain.
I can't see out my eyes no more,
just an endless abyss.
I keep wanting to let it take me,
embrace death's sweet kiss.
The world around me still lingers,
the claws of life dig in.
My ears are torn,
my paws are bleeding,
and the pain won't ever end.
But death,
sweet death,
cruel death
just won't take me.
I don't have a name,
I never did,
I don't have a home,
unless Hell counts.
I've spent my whole life
In this cage,
dank and vile.
My fur is soaked with dirt and blood,
I'm always hungry,
I can't get away,
I just can't leave,
So please,
all I ask
is that you set me free.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,852 Reviews
This was beautiful, and I am extremely against animal abuse of any kind, animal testing in particular. This really speaks from the heart and I think you were right on target with every stanza! I refuse to use any products that have been tested on animals, and I own two cats that I got from a shelter, (they'd been abused). I love the message and am glad other people know how to portray these messages so beautifully. Keep Writing!
I love your imagery in this poem. It sets the reader right into that sad and gruesome world. I could see the dog's pleading eyes as I read. I don't know if enjoyment is the correct word considering the topic, but I really liked it. It would have been even more touching if you played on a dog's natural cheerfulness. Instead of him wishing for death, he could have been hopeful for the chance to be set free. As an awareness piece, I think that would have opened up even more hearts.
All the errors were done on purpose. It's written from a dog's view. I didn't think they'd have perfect grammar. Also, the beginning meant that its eyes were watering. You know, like a dog's eyes water when it's very tired. My dog does that.
Well, anyway thank you and I'm glad you liked it.
I like the poem, and it touches a topic I've been very aware of for a while. I do have some things I'd like to mention but they are more of preferences than anything else.
My eyes are watering,
glistening and shiny I know this is for dramatic effect, but I don't think dogs cry....
as I watch the small world through bars.
My head is aching all the time,
my ears sting with the cries around me.
They yelp and whimper and cry out in fear,
and I can't do a thing about it
because the same is happening to me.
Baying to the sound of torture,
the tune of yelps and barks.
Howling to the unseen moon,
I know it's up there
past the dark.
Singing in my wordless voice,
my song of death and decay.
Bleeding out the fear and pain,
my skin just cold and drained.
The grate beneath my feet is ice,
jagged, chilled and pained.
This stanza is moving and perfect, don't change it one bit.
My dead sister lays beside me,
unmoving, cold.
Oh, so cold.
They didn't bury her today,
perhaps they never will,
and here, alone, I'll always lay,
the blood drips down like rain.
I can't see out my eyes no more,Grammar Nazi alert, maybe you meant to put in these errors but they're bothering the hell out of me. How bout trying "I can't see out of my eyes anymore?" The rhythm is kept and it makes more sense.
just an endless abyss.
I keep wanting to let it take me,
embrace death's sweet kiss.
The world around me still lingers,
the claws of life dig in.If you're dying, wouldn't it be the claws of death?
My ears are torn,
my paws are bleeding,
and the pain won't ever end.
But death,
sweet death,
cruel death
just won't take me.
I don't have a name,
I never did,
I don't have a home,
unless Hell counts.Line doesn't fit with the rhythm too well....consider rewriting?
I've spent my whole life
In this cage,
dank and vile.
My fur is soaked with dirt and blood,
I'm always hungry,
I can't get away,
I just can't leave,
So please,
all I ask
is that you set me free.Touching end, I love it.
Thank you, everyone. I'm glad I left an impression.
This poem truly is a peice of art, I could hear and see exactly what the dog could. To be honest (and a bit pathetic) I almost cried. I can't really critisize this as it comes straight from the heart, I see you feel very strongly againest animal abuse and for that I congratulate you for spreading word about such a horrible thing.
I am actually aware of these and have been to multiple. I do really enjoy the poem though. It has strong adjectives in it that really make the poem what it is. I do like it and i believe that you should actually have a mimic of the poem or another few stanzas about the other animals. The one actual only a few miles away from my home has dogs, cats, and even some horses. Over all great poem didn't do much error and grammer checking but i like it!