(I was possibly dying a lil bit last night and thought "Why not put my emotions into a poem?" so that's what I did. And I really like it :) )
(sidenote: i'm fine dw I'm not in any danger of anything)
I'm tired
Just tired
I feel the string that connects our souls tightening
But the wire is sharp and hurts me and I don't know if I'm holding on too tight or you're pulling away.
The chord tightens around my neck and I can't breathe,
I can't breathe
until I cant speak
I'm overreacting and once I get distracted I'll be fine again so there's no reason to speak.
My head gets woozy and my neck is bleeding but if I speak it only hurts worse
but you're a good person
it can't be your fault.
but
I thought I was a good person too
so then is it not my fault..?
maybe it is my fault
maybe I am a bad person
maybe I cling on too quickly and hold on too tight
maybe I think we're closer in my head then we are in real life
maybe I give too much but it can't only hurt me and it's love bombing.
I hate how on paper the solution is clear but then the chord gets tighter and my head gets lighter and I don't know
I hate that I'm strong and independent but I love people and want to feel loved
I hate making excuses for myself just because I'm feeling things, feeling for once.
"I'm pmsing"
"Sorry I'm dramatic"
"I should've been more mature"
sometimes I wonder if people would care if something happened to me
I know they would but they would also move on
I know i'd want them to move on but sometimes its nice to be missed
it's nice to hear "I love you"
"I missed you'
"I was thinking of you"
I don't always want to initiate it though.
what if I want to be messaged first, what if I want to be the person to say it back
and I know its messy and i'm a mess and I have to clean myself up to be healthy but sometimes I wish I weren't strong
if I weren't so strong than maybe someone would come help
maybe if I weren't so strong I could be taken care of, cared for.
sometimes i'm just so tired of being strong
so tired of loving people
so tired of being me
i'm tired.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
The imagery of your poem is literally breath taking. The theme of feeling exhausted in one's own skin is deeply relatable. I love the structure of your poem and the way you use metaphors which add to the sense of melancholy. It's beautifully poignant. I hope you're doing well. Keep going, I am looking forward to seeing more of your work!
Hi, this is my first review, hope I do good!!
I want to start by saying that a lot of this honestly spoke to me, especially the parts about making excuses for feeling your own emotions. As a girl, it’s almost embedded into us to demean our feelings. This poem put that into words well. I love when I discover works that also seem to be targeted towards what I’m going through, as if it’s divine and meant to be.
As for the writing itself, I think some of the language used isn’t my personal cup of tea but a lot of people enjoy the usage of modern slang in poems, like “love-bombing” or “pmsing.” What I did love was the repeated outward questioning of all those “maybe”’s. It became very real from that.
Overall I thought this was very raw and real, and thank you for sharing.