The Last Hybrid (Working title, so it will just be under Argen's Adventures) Chapter 1

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The small clearing of nature stood regally as if it had its own sort of pride, showing off its overgrown abundance. Weeds had become one with flowers and the wispy grass was at least a foot tall. Among the green strands lay a mess of dark hair, pale skin and bright brown eyes that reflected gold in the sunlight. With one arm draped over her forehead to block the sunlight from her vision, and one leg propped up on a rock, she lay in the grass undisturbed. She soaked in the sun, the bright colors of her red shirt, true blue overalls and eye-catching yellow sneakers contrasting her otherwise monochrome appearance.

Argen stared up at the sky, the ends of the grass dancing against her cheeks as it bent and snapped in the breeze. The air was crisp with a slight, refreshing chill, and when the wind moved you could hear the quiet woosh that followed. The warmth of the sun blanketed her skin, and she would lay there forever soaking it up if she could.

She heard her mothers uneven steps from inside their tiny, overrun cottage. Plants and vines of all kinds grew up, down and all over the little house, the greenery being a part of its charm. A giant vine had even grown in the track of the sliding doors on the side of the house, rendering it unable to close completely, or lock for that matter. The expanse of land that their property stood on was peaceful and quiet, which made it easy to hear everything.

Even though Argen so desperately wished for noise.

For something out of the ordinary, something different from the peace and quiet that had become the only sound she heard.

From the few stories Mother had shared, the outside world was noisy, but dangerous, or at least it was before everything collapsed. Any conscious, living thing was rare now, and most plants had gone extinct. The life of the world had been wiped away when the barrier between the spiritual and physical world was destroyed.

Humans were just a thing of fiction now, well, other than Argen’s father. She stretched her hand up towards the sky, trying to fist the air as she stared at her hand. I wonder what humans looked like. Maybe they had horns, or wings, or maybe they were just like smoke and untouchable. Maybe I even look just like Dad…

Argen sighed softly, dropping her arm back onto her forehead, fisting both hands.

Now, if Mother would just let her see Father, then she would know what humans looked like. She hadn’t had any contact with her father since she was two, since after her second birthday they decided there was a risk that Argen would remember him. So, they shifted into the familiar schedule that was now Argen’s life.

For as long as she could remember, ten minutes before midnight, every night, Argen and her mother would say quiet goodbyes. Then there would be a creaking of the sliding door, which signaled the appearance of Crow and Raven, the two bird-like yokai’s who never told her where, but would always take her outside the barrier.

The barrier was what she called the invisible wall that contained everything inside of their property, keeping anything outside from coming in, and keeping anything inside from leaving. Even though Argen went beyond the barrier every night, she could never remember anything of what she saw. As soon as she stepped outside of the barrier’s line, she would immediately lose consciousness. No matter how much Argen tried, it would only ever let her cross over and leave if she was with Raven and Crow. She knew this since she had once been a bored and curious child with nothing better to do than defy rules she found unjust.

Argen had tried many things in her youth, such as stacking boxes on top of each other as high as she dared to climb, attempting to jump over the wall. Sadly, this only resulted in a broken arm. She soon gave up after many more failed plans, another notable one being the idea to dig an escape tunnel under the barrier, which proved unsuccessful.

Argen’s whole life was spent confined within these invisible walls, not knowing anything outside of her mother and whatever was in the house. Everything she saw past the property line was an illusion, but at least she had a lush, protected home, instead of having nowhere to stay in a lifeless, expanse land.

“Argen! Come help me with dinner please!” Her mother, Melverosa, called from inside the house. With a quiet grunt Argen slowly stood up, brushing off her knees before twining her fingers together as she stretched her arms upward to loosen her stiff limbs. “Coming!” She called, trotting over to the only patch of grassless ground, a slow smile spreading across her face.

You left feathers in my room again. Come clean them up you slob.

Her familiar handwriting greeted her from where it was etched into the small clearing of dirt, laying as a message in the ground. A response was inscribed with messier handwriting into the dirt below her own words, her smile growing ever-bigger as she read it.

Get over it. Fill up your pillow or something, I’m not your maid.

Argen snorted softly at the reply, bending down and grabbing a familiar stick, erasing her first message before writing her latest response above the lower line of words.

You’re right, you’re dinner. Birdbrain.

Satisfied with her retort she dropped the stick, standing back up and wiping her hands on her jeans as she jogged the short distance to their side door, sliding it open before closing it again. She turned right, entering straight into the kitchen where her sickly, yet still beautiful Mother stood, gripping her wooden cane.

Her mother had once been a pinnacle of beauty, sharing the same milky white skin and dark as the void black hair with her daughter, equipped with a contagious smile. However, this was only the mother Argen had seen in pictures, since her deteriorating health had aided the decline of her demeanor. The woman who had once stood out among the muted colors of their home had now bled into it, becoming her own shades of monochrome.

“Hi Momma,” Argen greeted her mother, giving her a small kiss on the cheek before making her way to the sink to wash her hands.

“Good evening, Argie. How was your time outside?” Melverosa responded, hobbling her way over to the dining table, carefully lowering herself into one of the chairs. “Fine, same as usual,” She answered, drying her hands on a towel before looking over at her mother. “How are you feeling?”

Well, I’m fine, same as usual.” Melverosa told her with a glimmer of humor in her small, rare smile. “But to give you a real answer, I’m not any worse, and for me that's a win-” She was cut off by a shuddering, hacking cough that ravaged through her body, blood splattering all over the house’s wood floors. Argen was immediately at her mothers side, gently pressing the towel she had been using into the older woman’s hands. “Here, use this mama. I’ll clean it up, don’t worry.”

“Thank you,” Melverosa whispered weakly, quickly covering her mouth to keep the floor from further falling victim to the spraying of blood. Argen glanced at her mother with a worried expression, her hands grabbing a fresh towel from one of the kitchen drawers. This was another one of their daily routines, her mother assuring her that she was fine, even though her illness and body insisted otherwise.

“You need to rest more, Momma. If you don’t you’re going to get worse, and there isn’t anyone who can give you the help you need.” Argen fretted, bending down to wipe up the blood, giving careful but quick attention to each spot. Her mother sighed. “I was going to, but we’re having guests over today-”

“Am I going to meet Dad?!” Argen asked quickly, whipping her head towards her mother, meeting her eyes with a curious sort of desperation. Melverosa’s face fell and she shook her head, setting her bloody cloth on the table. “Argie…you know…you know you can’t meet him.”

A silence hung between the two, both of them trying to mask whatever they were feeling to spare the other.

Argen stood and turned away, walking over to wash the bloody towel in the sink, trying to hide her disappointment from her mother. “Who is coming over then?” She asked, setting the towel aside after washing it. She then began taking care of the dirty dishes in the sink, unable to face her mother. “Crow and Raven. But you love them, you’ll have fun, I promise.” Her mother murmured, staring down at her feet.

“Don’t worry Mom, I’m fine.” She gritted out, wincing at her tone.

“Argie…I…I’m sorry you can’t meet him…b-but you won’t need to worry about, or even think about him anymore.” Melverosa responded in a hushed whisper, wringing her hands in worry.

“Oh, and why is that?” The younger girl asked, drying the current plate she was holding.

“Because we’re moving.”

CRASH

Comments & reviews · 5
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Azaria Comment

What a twist and such a great story! Leaves me questioning what will happen next and if what I think is true. Will the younger girl look for answers on her own or will she just leave it alone? Honestly it's great! Really enjoyed this story! ^^

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avimoon
Review
avimoon wrote a review · Sat May 31, 2025 8:02 pm

Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Heya, Glitch! From what I've seen so far, I love your writing, so I'm really excited to read this piece and get cracking! So let's hop to it!

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
From what I've read, here's the gist: Argen is a young lady with a human father, which is considered very unusual since humans are considered extinct. She is a lovely, sweet girl, caring for her ill mother and engaging in witty banter with hidden friends. However, she is curious about the barrier separating her from the outside world, and she is very eager to meet her father. One day, everything is going according to routine until her mother stuns her with the words, "We're moving."

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
These are mostly just punctuation things that irked my OCD a bit.
~"The air was crisp with a slight, refreshing chill, and when the wind moved you could hear the quiet woosh that followed." to "The air was crisp with a slight, refreshing chill, and when the wind moved, you could hear the quiet woosh that followed."
~ "She heard her mothers uneven steps from inside their tiny, overrun cottage." to "She heard her mother's uneven steps from inside their tiny, overrun cottage."
~ "From the few stories Mother had shared, the outside world was noisy, but dangerous, or at least it was before everything collapsed." to "From the few stories Mother had shared, the outside world was noisy but dangerous, or at least it was before everything collapsed."
~ "Now, if Mother would just let her see Father, then she would know what humans looked like." to "Now, if Mother would just let her see Father, then she would know what humans looked like."
~ "She hadn’t had any contact with her father since she was two, since after her second birthday they decided there was a risk that Argen would remember him." to "Ever since her second birthday, she hadn’t had any contact with her father since they decided there was a risk she would remember him."
~ "With a quiet grunt Argen slowly stood up, brushing off her knees before twining her fingers together as she stretched her arms upward to loosen her stiff limbs." to "Argen stood slowly, a quiet grunt resounding in her throat as she brushed off her knees before twining her fingers together, stretching her arms upward to loosen her stiff limbs."
~ "Satisfied with her retort she dropped the stick, standing back up and wiping her hands on her jeans as she jogged the short distance to their side door, sliding it open before closing it again. She turned right, entering straight into the kitchen where her sickly, yet still beautiful Mother stood, gripping her wooden cane." to "Satisfied with her retort, Argen dropped the stick, standing back up and wiping her hands on her jeans as she jogged the short distance to their side door, sliding it open before closing it again. She turned right, entering straight into the kitchen where her sickly yet still beautiful mother stood, gripping her wooden cane."
~ "Her mother had once been a pinnacle of beauty, sharing the same milky white skin and dark as the void black hair with her daughter, equipped with a contagious smile." to "Her mother had once been a pinnacle of beauty, sharing the same milky white skin and black hair dark as the void with her daughter, equipped with a contagious smile."

Other than those (^), this is (in my eyes) a perfect piece!

Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
~ "Weeds had become one with flowers and the wispy grass was at least a foot tall." This. This IMAGERY. *chef's kiss*
~ "The warmth of the sun blanketed her skin, and she would lay there forever soaking it up if she could." Awesome, agreed, sunbathing is the best <3
~ "Plants and vines of all kinds grew up, down and all over the little house, the greenery being a part of its charm. A giant vine had even grown in the track of the sliding doors on the side of the house, rendering it unable to close completely, or lock for that matter. The expanse of land that their property stood on was peaceful and quiet, which made it easy to hear everything.

Even though Argen so desperately wished for noise.

For something out of the ordinary, something different from the peace and quiet that had become the only sound she heard." YESSSSSS, I love the description of the house and the way it flows very wonderfully into Argen's thoughts. A lot of good authors tend to struggle with making their writing flow from description to the goings-on of the story, but the way you wrote this did not seem forced and instead seemed very natural. So great job!!!
~ "Humans were just a thing of fiction now, well, other than Argen’s father." EEEE, okayy!!! This line really excited me and brought out the "ooh" factor for me.
~ "She knew this since she had once been a bored and curious child with nothing better to do than defy rules she found unjust. Argen had tried many things in her youth, such as stacking boxes on top of each other as high as she dared to climb, attempting to jump over the wall. Sadly, this only resulted in a broken arm. She soon gave up after many more failed plans, another notable one being the idea to dig an escape tunnel under the barrier, which proved unsuccessful." This is so cute, what ToT
~ "However, this was only the mother Argen had seen in pictures, since her deteriorating health had aided the decline of her demeanor. The woman who had once stood out among the muted colors of their home had now bled into it, becoming her own shades of monochrome." Relatable and painful. Brilliant writing <3

Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
This is a brilliant, very well-written story, and I would love to see it expanded. Excellent writing, Glitch!!!

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Thank you so much! I appreciate all the grammar nitpicks, and I'll be sure to tag u when I make the next chapter!

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Ravena
Review
Ravena wrote a review · Sat May 31, 2025 7:55 pm

Hello, My Friend!

Hiya, Glitch! It’s me, Raven, and I’m here to review the opening chapter of this story, using my Familiar method! Let’s dive right in, shall we?

What The Black Eyes See
~ A full analysis and breakdown


Alright, this was an awesome opener for a story! I love our introduction to Arden here, and already, the worldbuilding sounds like it's gonna be something fascinating and multi-faceted—something you're all too eager to explore! Let's get into the details though.

Plot and Pacing: Great! Good length, nothing is drawn out or info-dumpy. No sense of painful tropes or gimmicks. I mean, you introduce the protagonist, her primary problems, and then hit us with a surprise change of pace! That's a solid first chapter in my book!

Descriptions and Setting: GORGEOUS! The property where Arden lives sounds so pretty and tranquil, and you nailed the descriptions! I also enjoyed the character designs thus far!

Characterization: Arden definitely comes across as the classic, curious girl who seeks adventure. She honestly reminded me of Kiki from Kiki's Delivery Service, which I found super cute and charming! I'm already liking her vibe. I also loved the details, like how she takes care of her mother and has a cheeky little argument with her friends by writing messages in the dirt. That brought out both a caring and playful side that gave her a bit of dimension and made her more fun to follow!

Grammar and Wording: There's only one really minor, specific thing that I thought to drop in the next section. Overarchingly, this was some high-quality writing!

Where The Dagger Points
~ Some nitpicks and little recommendations


Here is where I put my more specific nitpicks, such as typos and the like. And there's not much to put here at all! Let’s break it down…

“Who is coming over then?” She asked, setting the towel aside after washing it. She then began taking care of the dirty dishes in the sink, unable to face her mother. “Crow and Raven. But you love them, you’ll have fun, I promise.” Her mother murmured, staring down at her feet.


Okay, so this is a disputed thing in the writing world so pls take it with an especially heavy grain of salt. But traditionally, in dialogue, a new paragraph should start wherever someone else starts speaking. So I (personally) think this would look nicer if Argen's mother's answer was its own paragraph.

But again, that's a disputed matter, and this is based on my own opinion and how I was taught. So take only what you want from that, and consider the rest just the mad rambling of an internet corvid <3

Why The Grin Widened
~ My reactions, theories, and favorite parts


Well, it's only Chapter One so I have no theory material just yet...but as for a few highlights and reactions, I can share this much:

Argen stared up at the sky, the ends of the grass dancing against her cheeks as it bent and snapped in the breeze. The air was crisp with a slight, refreshing chill, and when the wind moved you could hear the quiet woosh that followed. The warmth of the sun blanketed her skin, and she would lay there forever soaking it up if she could.


Ah, I'll say it again—your descriptions of the property were gorgeous! And I especially appreciated your attention to the sensory notes! They're such a powerful descriptive tool, and they made the setting feel even more immersive!

Any conscious, living thing was rare now, and most plants had gone extinct. The life of the world had been wiped away when the barrier between the spiritual and physical world was destroyed.


WOAH! one chapter in, and we already get some gnarly clues about what the world looks like, and why Argen is confined here! The "barrier between the spiritual and physical world"...I'm now curious about either of those worlds and the role they'll play!

Then there would be a creaking of the sliding door, which signaled the appearance of Crow and Raven, the two bird-like yokai’s who never told her where, but would always take her outside the barrier.


Yesss, I love the theme of corvids between these two! >:D *ahem*, but anyway, these two interest me already! I wonder where/why/how they're taking Argen, and if her mother is aware of these nightly excursions...

Argen’s whole life was spent confined within these invisible walls, not knowing anything outside of her mother and whatever was in the house. Everything she saw past the property line was an illusion, but at least she had a lush, protected home, instead of having nowhere to stay in a lifeless, expanse land.


This really showed off the conflict Argen must be facing about now. On one hand, when the world is destroyed, you would likely be very thankful for having a safe place to live. On the other hand, it's easy to get cabin fever in even the lushest places, especially for a curious child who's never known anything else. I feel like this will be an interesting point to explore in Argen's character.

The woman who had once stood out among the muted colors of their home had now bled into it, becoming her own shades of monochrome.


I loved this line!! That's it, that's my commentary, I just wanted to say that XD

A silence hung between the two, both of them trying to mask whatever they were feeling to spare the other.


Ooo, you can sense the tension here...Argen not wanting to disappoint her mother, her mother feeling bad for the way things are, yet nothing either can do about it...

“Because we’re moving.”

CRASH


Woah, that caught me by surprise!! Also, loved the "crash" at the end there, so fitting XD

Our Mad Thoughts...


Overall, that was a sweet first chapter, and I would love to follow this story should you continue updating! Nicely done! :D


Thus concludes my review. To leave off, here are some inspiring quotes, courtesy of your resident Poe freak ~

"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."

Thank you so much! And that's a great nitpick, thanks! I'll be sure to update u when I make a second chapter!

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canopy
Review
canopy wrote a review · Sat May 31, 2025 5:25 pm

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Hello @Glitch0Ghost2024 Detective Ira here, I have apparently stumbled upon your manuscript while searching for clues in the Devil’s Library, which is where I believe the ancient magical book of Toramu is hidden. Since I’m already here, I shall give my opinion on this piece of yours.

Though I have to say it is very strange that I should find your writing here……. hmmm…..

What I can see


WOW this was so amazing!!! I actually love this so much! Your descriptions are amazing! I can clearly picture everything and I can feel it too. The warmth of the sun, the tickle of the grass. The imagery is spot on. And the story, oh the story. It is so good. It drew me in from the very first instant. The way you've laid everything out with this perfect balance of description, information and personal dialogue is spectacular.

The plot itself is very intriguing, very post apocalyptic but at the same time also not. It's an immensely pleasing juxtaposition to have. The idea that humanity is almost extinct - along with most of the planet - except for this one girl, really seems like the perfect set up for a chosen one style of quest.

Perhaps with a darker secret than initially believed, related to extinction, her father etc. Maybe she gets violently shoved out of her comfort zone, disillusioned and learns the dark truth, discovers those skeletons in the closets, get hurt maybe, feel betrayed but in the end comes together to save the world.

The whole set up with Crow and Raven is also very intriguing, because it seems like even though all Earthly species seem extinct here are two creatures who were very prevalent during humanities heyday, and yet, they are not normal crows or ravens - so are they even crows or ravens? Again, very nice paradox, kind of like Schrodinger's cat experiment.

The ending is also great, so many elements added, so much to explore. Mother is sick, and they're moving. All this with the information we already have with the mysterious loss of consciousness (possibility of double life?) the invisible shield and the missing father makes for quite an explosive first chapter.




Under the magnifying glass



My only suggestion is that when I'm reading, I do wonder what exactly makes Argie different from humans? Since from the description it sounds like she is pretty human-esque, her mother as well. So, I would suggest, adding some detail about how she is different from humans, nothing very obvious, but maybe subtle hints, to maintain that air of mystery and intrigue.

Because right now I don't really believe her when she says she isn't human, or is half human, which makes her mother not human. And that can be a little problematic as her species or lack thereof seems to be a pretty important plot point.




Closing the case


Overall, I really enjoyed this work of yours!! I am hooked, and waiting for further instalments. This was very well done. :D

It was lovely going through this manuscript of yours. Everything expressed was my opinion, feel free to accept or reject whatever you want.

If you have any clues relating to the book of Toramu or anything you want to clarify feel free to contact my alias, ahem, my dear friend @canopy.

Until next time!!

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“It’s always the person you least expect. Therefore, we can eliminate the hooded figure over there carrying Mrs. Noodleworthy’s severed legs as a suspect in the death of Mrs. Noodleworthy.”
—C. Auguste Dupin, “The Leg Bandit,” by Edgar Allan Poe

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! This was kind of an abandoned project, but I may just pick it up again! Also, that's a very good suggestion that I will use! Thank you so much for reviewing!



To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.
— Proverbs 18:13