Published October 14, 2010
Catching eyes from across the room
I stop and stare;
The pen falling from my hand.
I hadn't know a thing about love
About life;
About you until then.
Your smile grabbed my attention,
But it was your eyes that snagged my heart.
I could smile
I mean, really smile because of you.
I hadn't any real reason before now
But you give me all I could ever want.
I always wanted love, the fairytale romance
But you're far from a fairytale.
Did Cinderella stop to think whether her Prince was married first?
Not even the ring on your finger stops me;
It's the illegality of the action.
As well as the pain it'll cause you.
I was lost in a sea of tears
I was indeed drowning if you hadn't thrown the life vest.
My heart is yours;
And yours will never be mine.
I ache at the though,
Yet I am also relieved.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,751 Literary Works • 675,680 Reviews
Catching eyes from across the room
I stop and stare;
The pen falling from my hand.
I hadn't know a thing about love
About life;
About you until then.
Your smile grabbed my attention,
But it was your eyes that snagged my heart.
I could smile
I mean, really smile because of you.
I hadn't any real reason before now
But you give me all I could ever want.
I always wanted love, the fairytale romance
But you're far from a fairytale.
Did Cinderella stop to think whether her Prince was married first?
Not even the ring on your finger stops me;
It's the illegality of the action.
As well as the pain it'll cause you.
I was lost in a sea of tears
I was indeed drowning if you hadn't thrown the life vest.
My heart is yours;
And yours will never be mine.
I ache at the though,
Yet I am also relieved
nice....
try rhyming a bit more...
Good, the first stanza I think it should be known not know. Well written but you could use some similies or metaphors to better capture the moments you "share" with this man/woman.
That's amazing you capture the way a girl yearn to love someone she can't so well <3