Free as a Stallion am I

Hello, I see from your small amount of reviews that you are probably a newbie (forgive me if I'm wrong) so welcome to YWS.
I general this is a really nice poem, quite personal and emotional which is good. You said in the description that you where depressed when you wrote this, I understand how you feel, I usually only write poetry when I'm sad too.
It flows well, good use of words and sentence length. The juxtaposition of opposing words is used nicely, the reader really gets to feel what you, or the voice of the poem, is feeling.

Free as a stallion, Like the short sharpness of this
Yet locked away, Nice line, good contrast between the meanings of the words.
Never to see the light of day,
Nothing but the comfort of my dreams, I question the placement 'comfort'
In my dreams I see,
In my dreams I fly,
In my dreams free as a stallion am I.


No one but me, my friends, and dreams one and all, Messy, just to much, try cutting something out . Maybe even just 'No one but me' .
Running free,
Nothing confining me, Don't repeat me to much.
Running free as a stallion,
Away from the dark,
Running free in the light, Over usage of free, I understand that you want to get the word across but sometimes its not good to over use words. Look 'free' up in a thesaurus.
Just me, myself, and I,
In my dreams free as a stallion am I.

This was an enjoyable poem to read. I enjoyed your repetition and emphasis on dreams, but I will agree that the structure was a little confusing. Other than that, I think that you have a talent for writing, and I urge you to continue with it. I look forward to reading more from you

I liked it. The way you percieve the freedom by comparing it to a stallion is awesome. I also love the repetition you use throughout, especially emphasizing on the word

Ghost42 wrote:dreams