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The Ladybug

by Gg127


Such giants are we to such a soul, 
Tangible, but no to touch! 
For this creature, lacking camouflage, 
Is capable of much. 
What smiles it brings 
To things with wings 
And those it ventures near; 
Those lucky few 
Are transformed anew, 
At ease, ridden of fear. 
With each new age, a spot is gained, 
So I have been told. 
Such beauty just might pardon it 
The burden of growing old. 
With other bugs, 
We squeal and squelch, 
Armed with magazines. 
In turn, they face the dreaded death 
Of Vogue or Seventeen. 
But this little lady in royal red 
Creates her own destiny. 
Escorted by a tender breeze, 
She is lucky, wild, and  
Free  


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370 Reviews


Points: 14732
Reviews: 370

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Tue Jun 12, 2012 6:21 pm
tgirly wrote a review...



This is amazing. The language at the beginning is so beautiful and captivating, and then the humor at the end is so unexpected (in a good way) and the voice doesn't break during the voice, so it's wonderful. The only problem I can see is the ending feels a bit abrupt. Maybe because it's so much shorter than the other lines, I'm not sure. Also, I wish the poem was broken into stanzas, though that might break the flow of the poem.
In the second line it says "tangible but no to touch" Do you mean tangible but not to touch, or did you mean for it to be like that? I wasn't sure, and it'd be fine either way.
I understand both parts of the poem, and I think what you mean by "tangible but no to touch" is it CAN be touched, but it definitely SHOULDn't be touched, right? It's a bit interpretive, as poem should be so that's good. All in all, awesome poem. Hope this review helps! :)
-tgirly




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Sun Apr 22, 2012 9:20 pm
Shearwater wrote a review...



Hey there, Gg!

I'm here to review as requested.

"Such giants we are to such a soul,
Tangible, but not to touch!
For this creature, lacking camouflage,
Is capable of much."

- What such asoul are we talking about?
Tangible and not touching is contradictory but I understand what you mean. It's real but cannot be touched, however I don't understand what camouflage and capability has anything to do with what was just said. So far, I don't get it.

"What smiles it brings
To things with wings
And those it ventures near;
Those lucky few
Are transformed anew, "

- What things with wings does the ladybug bring smiles to?
Kids don't have wings and yet, children are most fascinated by ladybugs.
The transformation effect is also confusing. I feel like I'm missing something in this poem...

"With each new age, a spot is gained,
So I have been told.
Such beauty just might pardon it
The burden of growing old."

I get this stanza, lol.

"With other bugs,
We squeal and squelch,
Armed with magazines.
In turn, they face the dreaded death
Of Vogue or Seventeen."

I also get this stanza and I like it. It's humorous and yet sad at the same time.
This makes me feel bad for killing the bugs in my apartment.

"But this little lady in royal red
Creates her own destiny.
Escorted by a tender breeze,
She is lucky, wild, and
Free"

-Good ending.
I like the second half of this poem because I actually get it. However the first half is confusing and doesn't exactly relate to what you're trying to say. The main point of this is to show how lucky the ladybug is for being beautiful and how much this person likes this insect, right? Correct me if I'm wrong. The beginning didn't really connect the dots for me.

Overall though, it was interesting and I like the parts that I was able to put together.
Let me know if you have more questions and hopefully this review helped.

All the best,
-Pink





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