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Not My Circus: Chapter 1

by GengarIsBestBoy


Special Thanks to @Ari11 for the cover art! Thank you so much!

Series Summary (Contains blurb, genres, and content warnings)

~~~

Chapter 1: I Believe This May Call for a Proper Introduction

It was a beautiful day outside. The baby blue skies were scattered with fluffy clouds. The sun shined brightly, and a gentle breeze could be felt. The trees rustled as birds hopped from branch to branch, belting out their harmonious melodies.

There was a daisy sprouting close to a road. The little flower had just bloomed a couple of days ago, earlier than the unopened buds that surrounded it. The breeze made it sway even closer to the road...

...where it was immediately crushed by an oncoming car.

The car in question had an unreasonable amount of bumper stickers and was blasting music that was 20 years too late.

The driver was none other than Keith. After a lovely Monday afternoon brunch with good friends, he was driving back to his apartment; he was one of those weird people who weren't completely drained after social interaction.

He got home and unlocked the door, where he immediately heard a little meow. His black cat Lucy trotted over to him. He closed the door and bent down to pet her between the ears. “Aww, hello Lucy!” He said.

Keith walked over to his bedroom. He looked at himself in a large standing mirror, which had a rainbow organizing cart next to it. He was known for his colorful and quirky style, inspired by street fashion found in Harajuku, Japan. No matter where he went, he always had to have many layers of bright clothing, plastic hair clips, bracelets, and even fake glasses or face stickers depending on the day. Today, his outfit had a warm color scheme.

He started by taking out all of the barrettes in his hair one by one. He had bangs, which made it easier to clip them on. They were all varying shades of red, orange, and yellow, and he put each one in the drawer of the corresponding color. Some were themed after fruit, some were themed after characters, and some were simply just filled with glitter.

Next, he moved on to his bracelets. He had made all of them using plastic beads. He was mostly wearing simple ones that could be made in minutes, but he was also wearing a couple of more complex ones that took hours or even days. He stored all of them in one of the bottom drawers. Here, they were not sorted by color, but by complexity.

Finally, he changed out of his overalls and into some Simpsons sleep joggers. He flopped onto his bed with a sigh. He would have the rest of the day to just relax.

With another adorable meow, Lucy came into the room. She crouched, getting ready to jump onto the bed.

She landed right on Keith’s stomach.

He immediately sat up, pushing Lucy off and clutching his stomach. “Ugh, why did you have to do that?” He asked her.

“Meow,” she answered, looking up at him with big innocent yellow eyes.

Keith sighed. It was hard to stay mad at something so adorable.

From another room, he heard the faint sound of a computer notification. He rushed over to his home office, hoping it was what he thought it was.

Sure enough, there was a little notification box in the bottom corner of his screen:

You have one (1) new email.

He clicked it, and it immediately opened to an e-mail he had sent a couple of weeks ago:

Dear Ms. Sullivan,

I am a photographer and historian in the Mayday City area. I travel around, documenting and preserving the history of abandoned buildings and structures. I was in your area when I noticed the factory at 555 Aardvark Lane. I was hoping you'd be willing to let me take photos of the property, and I am happy to share them with you if you'd like. Some of my past work can be viewed here. I am looking forward to your reply.

Best regards,

Keith Wiggins.

Below that was the recipient’s reply.

Dear Mr. Wiggins,

I am delighted that you have taken an interest in my property. You are more than welcome to photograph it, but the entrance is locked and I will need to come unlock it. Is this Thursday an acceptable date? I look forward to your reply.

Sincerely,

Gabriella Sullivan

Keith was utterly ecstatic. He exclaimed “Yes!” While jumping around the room. He tripped over a wire, though, and landed in a mesh waste basket.

Just then, Lucy walked in. She meowed at him, almost as if to ask, What’s all this ruckus for?

Keith laughed and picked himself up out of the bin. “Oh, Lucy, you’ll never believe what happened!” He said, pacing around the room as he talked. “I’ve found this really awesome abandoned place that I want to take pictures of, and the lady who owns it said yes!”

Lucy tilted her head to the side, and Keith realized that he was talking to a cat.

But who could blame him? It had been so long since he felt the subtle caving-in of weak floorboards under his feet or the humid, musty atmosphere on his skin.

Exploring abandoned buildings was a strange hobby, and one that was not easily explained or understood by others. Why would anyone willingly go to places like that? They could be full of venomous snakes or toxic paint fumes, or might have weak ceilings that could collapse at any moment.

But Keith saw past all the dangers. He saw beauty in decaying old buildings. They are moments frozen in time, refusing to move on like the rest of the world. They are glimpses into the past, fragments of history that are just waiting to be rediscovered. The way light filters through cracked windows and casts shadows onto rusted metal is a sight that you can’t get anywhere else. He could just go on and on about this subject for hours.

The one he was planning to explore was the Sullivan Steel Factory. In its glory days (A.K.A, a very long time ago), it was built and owned by Harrison Sullivan. However, it shut down for reasons unknown to this day, and the place has been abandoned since. The property was now owned by Gabriella Sullivan, a direct descendant of Harrison.

He flopped down onto a chaise lounge. It was the kind that therapists always had. He sighed. This was going to be a great week.

[Okay I’m gonna be honest, the drawing I made doesn’t really do him justice; just imagine this but with more clips / bracelets]

Next: Chapter 2


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Stickied -- Tue Nov 14, 2023 10:49 pm
GengarIsBestBoy says...



Note: i made the little website before I figured out the details of the story, so some things are gonna be outdated or inaccurate




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Sun Aug 20, 2023 3:30 pm
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GengarIsBestBoy says...



Fun fact:

Lucy’s full name is “Lucipurr Miranda Wiggins”




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Mon Aug 14, 2023 10:58 pm
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OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...



Hiya! This is Orabella here with a short review.

I can't wait to see where this goes! So far this is really interesting, and after reading the blurb, I think this will be a great story! I like how you set it up and introduce the character: Keith, who is an extrovert and loves bright colors and photography. Strangely, he likes taking pictures of old, abandoned places which contradicts his personality, though I think this gives him more depth.

I think your drawings are amazing! The link that leads to his page is really cool, and the pictures are very well done and beautiful. Also, is that Gumball on his overalls?

Hmm... suggestions... suggestions... suggestions... this is really good and it's hard to see any room for improvement. Although, I have managed to find something that could be edited, though it is not at all essential.

It was a beautiful day outside.


Sentences like this are nice and all, and they get right to the point. But I feel like they're unnecessary. Beautiful can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Instead of saying "It was beautiful," explain it in more detail... which you did in the following sentences. (I think this principal is different in dialogue or first person narration. Someone saying aloud that something is beautiful can reveal things about their character. For example, Keith might say that an old building is beautiful, though another may say it's creepy or disgusting. Someone might say that it was a beautiful sunny day outside, but someone like my sister may think it's horrible. (She doesn't like sunny days)) Just something to think about, although your word choice is already good, and in my opinion, doesn't need editing.

Anyway, that's all from me. Have a great day/night/evening/morning/afternoon, and keep writing!




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Wed Aug 09, 2023 11:02 pm
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RokitaVivi wrote a review...



I have to say, this is story is gonna be interesting. The cover art by Ari11 looks good, not to mention colorful too. Keith sounds like a fun character and his description of his appearance, even without the drawing from below I could still paint a pretty picture, but it is a nice touch that you drew him (which you're right it doesn't do him justice). The beginning was a great opening and being a nice beautiful day with budding flower, then immediately gets crushed by Keith's car and get a view of his car via bumper stickers. I like how you explain the reasoning as to why he wants to go to an abandoned steel factory, actually it's kind of beautiful in a way despite all the risks of taking photos there. I know this is just the first chapter and have chapters left, but so far I'm enjoying myself.
Goodnight, good morning, and good afternoon! This is RokitaVivi signing out!




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Mon Jul 31, 2023 9:17 pm
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foxmaster wrote a review...



Foxmaster here!
I loved this, and Keith sounds like, the most awesome character you could ever imagine. The beginning was great, it sounded like one of those movie beginnings.
I loved this sentence, too:

he was one of those weird people who weren't completely drained after social interaction.

Buuut I did find some things, like here:
He exclaimed “Yes!” While jumping around the room. He tripped over a wire, though, and landed in a mesh waste basket.

So, I would either uncapitalize the while, or change the sentence to:
"Yes!" he exclaimed, while jumping around the room. However, he tripped over a wire, and landed in a mesh waste basket.
One more thing:
But Keith saw past all the dangers. He saw beauty in decaying old buildings. They are moments frozen in time, refusing to move on like the rest of the world. They are glimpses into the past, fragments of history that are just waiting to be rediscovered. The way light filters through cracked windows and casts shadows onto rusted metal is a sight that you can’t get anywhere else.

Here, you go from past-tense to present-tense, somewhat breaking up the flow here.
But, other than that, I didn't really find any more typos, and I love your drawing of Keith.
-Foxmaster




GengarIsBestBoy says...


Thanks for the review! :D Would you like me to tag you about future chapter updates?



foxmaster says...


yes, thanks!



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Mon Jul 31, 2023 8:41 pm
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Ari11 wrote a review...



Ahhh this is awesome! It's got such a different vibe to it and I love it. Photographing abandoned buildings is a very specific hobby, too. The descriptions for it are amazing! They almost make me want to wander around an old steel factory myself XD
I also really like this line:

he was one of those weird people who weren't completely drained after social interaction.


I can't wait to read more!




GengarIsBestBoy says...


Thanks for the review! :D Would you like me to tag you about future chapter updates?



Ari11 says...


Yes please!



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Mon Jul 31, 2023 8:38 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Ooh I'm excited to see you posting this after working on it this month! I especially love the cover art - it's definitely very bright and eye catching! Kudos to Ari :)

It was a beautiful day outside. The baby blue skies were scattered with fluffy clouds. The sun shined brightly, and a gentle breeze could be felt. The trees rustled as birds hopped from branch to branch, belting out their harmonious melodies.

There was a daisy sprouting close to a road. The little flower had just bloomed a couple of days ago, earlier than the unopened buds that surrounded it. The breeze made it sway even closer to the road...

...where it was immediately crushed by an oncoming car.

This was a great opener for me. The beautiful description of the peaceful day immediately juxtaposed against the smash of the car - I love it! It set the humourous tone really well, and it definitely made me laugh.

The car in question had an unreasonable amount of bumper stickers and was blasting music that was 20 years too late.

The music was 20 years too late as in it was old? Maybe 20 years 'out of date' would be a little clearer?

he was one of those weird people who weren't completely drained after social interaction.

Oof, I feel attacked.

Keith sighed. It was hard to stay mad at something so adorable.

Ok, Lucy is definitely a favourite character for sure.

Keith was utterly ecstatic. He exclaimed “Yes!” While jumping around the room. He tripped over a wire, though, and landed in a mesh waste basket.

This felt a little out of the blue, so I'm glad you explained his interest in abandoned buildings in the next paragraphs. It might feel less abrupt if you throw in a small mention of it earlier in the chapter though. As is, it felt a little shoe-horned in.

He flopped down onto a chaise lounge. It was the kind that therapists always had. He sighed. This was going to be a great week.

A great end to the chapter! I loved the tone and the characterisation. If I had any improvements, it would be that I'd like to see a bit more of Keith's thoughts around the building, but I think there's time for that in the coming chapters. I don't really have ideas about the direction of this story yet (I purposely skipped over the blurb to avoid spoilers) so I look forward to reading chapter two!

Icy




GengarIsBestBoy says...


Thanks for the review! :D Would you like me to tag you about future chapter updates?



IcyFlame says...


sure! I may not always be as quick to respond, but I'm happy to be on the list



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Mon Jul 31, 2023 6:19 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



I noticed that you posted the first chapter of “Not my Circus”, so I went to check it out. And guess what? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. Keith is so cute, fashion-wise and personality-wise. Speaking of fashion, he’s got great taste. I also love that you made a website for his photography, it feels more authentic. He’s also got a pet cat?? Could this character be any more adorable? Seriously.

I wish you a a lovely day/night.




GengarIsBestBoy says...


Oh yes, he can get more adorable! Just wait for the third chapter%u2026



vampricone6783 says...


:o



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Mon Jul 31, 2023 4:33 am
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Spearmint says...



Ahh I love the website! And the art is amazing <333
The description of abandoned buildings as moments frozen in time was also super beautiful c:




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Mon Jul 31, 2023 12:48 am
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Liminality says...



Heya! Just here to leave a comment - this was a fun opening chapter! The pacign feels right, and a lot of lines made me smile, including:

He tripped over a wire, though, and landed in a mesh waste basket.


and

But who could blame him? It had been so long since he felt the subtle caving-in of weak floorboards under his feet or the humid, musty atmosphere on his skin.


I usually don't like it when a story starts with the character's outfit being described, but here I thought it was pretty great, because 1. it's an unusual outfit and I feel like we're getting to know Keith more by how he organises his clothing items too and not just how he looks in them and 2. it's a pretty dynamic scene since he's changing into his homewear and not just standing still.

Really nice to see your Camp NaNo project here after following your thread!



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Rasmussen2 says...


Yet, amidst the revelry, there lingers an undercurrent of uncertainty. Whispers of a hidden agenda and clandestine machinations infiltrate the air, casting a shadow upon the joyous facade threes. Maximilian, his curiosity piqued, finds himself entangled in a web of secrets and riddles that he cannot resist unraveling.



GengarIsBestBoy says...


L bot




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