Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Well this seems to be telling quite a nice message in a somewhat unorthodox way and I think it does an okay job of showing that. I'm not going to say anymore on that. The story itself has a pretty decent flow to and it is written in a maybe rushed pace but that isn't too much of an issue.
Anyway let's get right to it,
I have a secret. I have a secret and I'll share it with you. Some rights of passage are only worth the experience. This one though, this one is worth a thousand words. I swear. My little secret. So its like this. Boy meets Girl. They plan their future. Life is good. Girl goes to China for a month. Boy fucks Girl's best friend after three years of dating, while she's away. Picks Girl up at the airport, tells her he is no longer in love with her. Girl finds out all sorts of interesting things from Live Journal. Like how the had sex. How they went on double dates. How everyone but Girl knew that Boy was fucking around.
Well at least there's no doubt that this is R rated. I haven't run into this particular thing yet but I suppose it might be a common thing somewhere in the world.
I said I have a secret and I will not disappoint you. But once I tell you, it won't be much of a secret will it. Oh well. You can keep a secret, right? A small, sky blue, titanium secret. (Pause) So Boy fucks around and Girl...me...I'm devastated, right? Pretty fucked up. I hate myself, my body, I'm stupid, ugly, fat, uninteresting, and absolutely miserable. And now suddenly I am painfully aware of just how much of myself I invested in this one person. This stupid boy! Its just unacceptable than any woman in her right mind you be so invested in one stupid man. Then came the itch, you know the one. The little whisper that starts as sort of a dream and then grows into a definite idea. I knew what I needed.
Okay well that sounds like a decent introduction. Its bordering on being too much information dumped at once but I shall reserve judgment until I real further.
I'm a very firm believer in the powers of body modification. Ritual modification has been a right of passage since man was man, right? There are some things that only fresh metal can fix. Some things only pain can cleanse. I've always been a fan. But what? You'd think 8 would have been enough. What could I possibly have pierced as an ultimate expression of my femininity, my self-worth, my freedom, my independence? Then came the other voice, the bad one—What would be most shocking?
Okay that seems like a decent depiction of her personality. Sounds like a decent way to be telling the story.
It was decided then. I picked a date and put the money away, just for this special occasion. Dressing up the dainties. And let me tell you, I've never been more terrified in my life!
Well that seems like it was slightly rushed there but since this is a short story its not that big of a deal.
Well that was certainly a decent depiction of the emotion of the moment. It seems to be fairly realistic and we get a good sense of what's going through our protagonist's head.
Okay that seems like a pretty nice message to include in there I think. Not going to analyze it too much however so that's about all I will be saying on the message of this story.
Aaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall this was a fairly well written story and our maun character was fleshed out very well I think. We got a really good sense of who she is as a person. The matter of being dumped was pushed aside maybe a little quick in my opinion but that's just what I think.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 253788
Reviews: 4099
Donate