Published July 15, 2005
Again with the Peter Pan metaphors. Oh well. Rip it to shreds. I want it fixed.
~~
Lost
I wandered once the endless streets
Empty eyed and soulless
Broken-hearted
Missing…something
A kindred soul
Someone to understand
No man able to fill my holes
And yet…
Looking for love
And finding it
But not in a fire bright sunlight Adam
In a sad child staring through the broken window pane
Of eyes too old to be his own
Begging of me warmth I thought long gone
Drawing from me light I thought I’d never give again
Strong child giving me gifts I once sought from a man
No more
I seek not the gifts of men
But gifts of gardens
Gifts of giving gifts to others
Gifts of being trusted confidant, mother and friend
Loving those sad eyes
Written sorrows in a boy’s face
Echoes I know
Echoes…
Eternal wisdom trapped within a weight of mortality
Fathomless deep, sparkle bright with the mysteries of innocence
Drawing me safely inward
Sinking down where cold should be
Instead, he’s warm
Warm as home
And I am found
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Certainly very well written. In my honest opinion, I don't think it needs to be fixed at all. I like the length of it. Making it any shorter would ruin it. Very good work
I really like all the imagry.. It makes a picture. Its a little long though, but its really good so thats ok. :p