Good Faith: Part I

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

That was the first time she knew.

Her eyes fluttered open. She reached out to grab the watch on her bedside table, yet as she outstretched her arm, she felt nothing. Nothing, except a void of air.

Then it struck her. The mattress felt cold and hard, much unlike the soft and cosy bed that she was used to, against her bare legs. Her bare legs? She was sure that she had worn her nightgown to bed with her.

Oooooh well this is certainly starting off with a very powerful situation here. I love the way it starts out almost calm there with this person just sort of waking up with a slightly unusual feeling but nothing that seems immediately alarming and its almost routine before we one by one showcase that clearly something has gone horribly wrong. Its a wonderful way of building up tension and I think it works really for this piece right here.

She screwed up her eyes and a clearer view of the room came into vision. The walls were plain, bare and were pockmarked with faded patches, as if the pale wallpaper that had once adorned it had been torn off in a burning rage. A dank, musty smell dripped from the ceiling and formed a fine mist that settled around her like a blanket.

The bed sheets were vehemently tossed aside as she tried to make for the door but then there was an awful shriek.

Oh wow well I was expecting her to be in some sort of different location, but now this makes it somehow even scarier to see it is in fact this person's own bed in their home, its just that everything seems to have been horribly twisted. It really works wonders there in building the tension up even further and just making us anticipate the worst to come here.

Her legs had been chained to the bed.

She shouted for help, but there was no reply. Still she called, as if pleading for mercy. Finally she tried again, shouting and shouting until her screams dissolved into a rasping, shaking whisper, as she collapsed, resigned to her fate.

Hmm I feel like she sort of resigned herself to her fate a bit quickly there or at least we didn't quite get enough emotional sort of description and the feeling of things falling apart to justify that sort of quick acceptance there, but otherwise that is headed in the right direction there, and the build up of tension upto that point was quite well done, it just seems to have fallen off a bit at that final hurdle there so I think you need just work on that a bit here.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry