Hey there! This is loveissourgrapes and I am here to give you a review/comment because this poem of yours is just so...painful. It also got some great descriptions and you can feel the emotions shown word by word. It reminds me of my old poems that I wrote in old dairy. You have also used the English language in a unique way so they could rhythm well with each other. The flow of the message and the writing style is great too.
Left alone to thoughts,
Nothing but an empty void.
Feelings of regret build-up,
Thoughts of what could've happened.
Actions wasted.
Words expended.
Notions discarded.
And yet, it was time well spent.
Time that cannot be gotten back,
But spent with good company.
Time that was bought with labor,
While cherishing every moment that came after.
You can see that the narrator is in pain with the feelings of loneliness that hit you hard after a long hard day. And when you're day went bad. Right after that bad day, the narrator's feelings really hit them like an arrow shot right through your chest. Would have, could have and should have questions are the only thoughts this person is thinking about because of those feelings and the day they have went through. You can see that the emotion here is just the start because there are more heart-wrecking words and emotions that are expressed in the next stanzas. This is just the introduction hehe.
Time that will be remembered with fondness,
Remembering what was and what could've been.
Time that cannot be gotten back,
Time well spent.
But yet the darkness calls,
Coming from the deepest recessions of the mind.
Making feelings of happiness turn sour,
Feelings of vividness turning dull.
What was once something of enjoyment,
Now brings sorrow and tears.
Unpleasant thoughts come flooding back,
Rushing in like a tidal wave.
You can see the descriptions here are crazy. You can see that the narrator is really in pain here to imagine the pain to be like these descriptions. Anger but sorrow yet filled with regret. Ugh, I love this!
Unable to stop it,
Giving in is inevitable.
Anger and sorrow,
Grief and distrust.
It all hits like a truck,
Toppling the emotional barrier.
Unearthing the unpleasantries,
Reliving the painfulness.
Left alone to thoughts,
A hole in the heart.
Feelings of regret consuming you,
Regrets of what could've been.
This is a good ending. Saying that these feelings are regret and that it is like the same feeling you feel when you read the introduction. Slow paced because the stanzas in the middle of the poem feels fast paced but the most painful part.
Over all, I love the message, the writing style and the descriptions. Keep writing! Have a great day/night! Don't be lonely and sad <3
Points: 15119
Reviews: 221
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