Published September 1, 2012
Have you ever wandered off
just to be alone
So you could feel
the sound of silence
And search in depths unknown
Have you ever lost yourself
In thoughts that have no end
To find the answer to your life
Or just to understand
Have you ever climbed up high
To feel the wind blow past
Or danced until you cannot breathe
What words can not express
Have you ever sat there and
Watched the cars drive by
Or seen the airplanes taking off
Into the great unknown
Have you ever sat there and
Simply wondered why
Have I never done this
Why did I never try?
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139,504 Literary Works • 672,591 Reviews
Very well planned and executed. It flows very smoothly and the content certainly has an audience. Overall a very good poem. With that said my only bit of constructive criticism would be the line, "What words can not express" and the use of "can not" versus "cannot". I spent some time deliberating whether the poem benefits from "can not" versus "cannot" and came to the conclusion that "cannot" is more, for lack of a better term, politically correct. While there is nothing wrong with using "can not" instead, it seems to be the better weapon in your poetic arsenal would have been as expressed above.
Yours truly,
Elitehusky
That one reminded me of a poem I once wrote in greek, similar to this one.My teacher said that it was good and she published it in the school paper.I didn't know why then but now I do. I t simply brings out questions about human nature and stuff like that, that torment you through the night.Nice job, and intersting profile pc.
Hey Fub! xD
Now, this was a really nice poem! I have absolutely no words to it, because its perfect but only ONE tiny mistake. You're missing on QUESTION MARKS. Like when you start off with "Have you ever..." , it's a question so needs a question mark when it ends. Though, I couldn't understand the last three lines:
What did you not try? That's what confuses me.
Overall: This is a fantastic poem, I loved it! You're a great writer, and you've got talent. Never give up.
Keep Writing! ~ 8D
--
Cookie <3'
WOW.
This is brilliant. This is now my favourite poem I have read on here so far. There is really nothing I can say against this, it's too perfect. It captivates exactly how I've been feeling lately and is so wonderfully written.
I am very much looking forward to reading more of your stuff and am very glad you have joined YWS.
Fantastic job!!
Love Nargles xxxx
P.s send me a P.M if you have anything you want to discuss or need help with!
I liked this poem very much. It carries a lot of emotions and feelings as well as ideas that people sometimes don't think of. I liked the ending because that question can sometimes haunt people when things get rough or just because. I have spent many times thinking of things that just will never end because they go in circles and more things add on. Still I couldn't find anything grammar wise wrong, in my opinion. I liked this very much and can't wait to read more of what you have. I also welcome you to YWS and hope you enjoy it here. I hope this review helps and if you have any questions feel free to ask me or post on my wall any time. Good luck! This was a wonderful poem to me and I'm glad I read it ^^