I moved away
I was not there to stay
But still, we found a way
Best friends since we were two years old
As the song says, we kept the gold
And our friendship did not mold
And though your hand is not in mine,
Our souls are still combined
And the stars must have aligned
When we first met
We were caught in a net
And we knew our friendship was set
And though I barely know right from wrong,
You've trusted me for so long
Our friendship began to sing a song
We've been friends since what feels like forever
And you're still my best friend ever
So I pray that our souls distance never.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,524 Literary Works • 672,598 Reviews
Hi FourLeafClover! I'm here to review your poem here
The first thing I noticed while reading this poem was that you didn't include any periods (except in the final line), just commas. Although periods certainly are not required in any poem, I think that it would've been nice to place a few here and there just to indicate separate thoughts/ideas, as well as offer a place for the reader to take a breath. For example, I feel that a period would've fit in right after the first and third lines, but as mentioned before, it's not absolutely necessary.
I appreciate how you have your poem set up in tercets, with the end of each line rhyming with two other ones. I like how it sounds when you read it aloud, and I think this makes your writing flow well.
As for the content of your poem, I think this is something that a lot of people can relate to, myself included. Some of my closest friends have moved far away, and sometimes thinking about the distance between us makes it hard. I especially liked these lines in particular:
Overall, I think that you have a lovely poem here - if you show it to your friend, I hope they like it!
Thank you for the review!
And I did email her the link, and she did like it, which makes me really happy.
Hello! Book_Dragon here for a quick review. I apologize in advance because I'm new to these, but I'll try my best.
First of all, I love the subject. I definitely relate to the moving and the friends moving deal.
Let's see...
The poem itself is very good. I like the rhyme scheme you chose! The only thing I would change is maybe add periods after every three lines. Or perhaps change some words so you don't start a sentence with "and" two times in a row.
Good job again!
-BD
Okay, thanks!