Young Writers Society

E - Everyone

Friends Since Forever

by FourLeafClover

I moved away

I was not there to stay

But still, we found a way

Best friends since we were two years old

As the song says, we kept the gold

And our friendship did not mold

And though your hand is not in mine,

Our souls are still combined

And the stars must have aligned

When we first met

We were caught in a net

And we knew our friendship was set

And though I barely know right from wrong,

You've trusted me for so long

Our friendship began to sing a song

We've been friends since what feels like forever

And you're still my best friend ever

So I pray that our souls distance never.

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29 Reviews

Points: 3561
Reviews: 29

Fri Apr 02, 2021 12:22 am
mckaylaam wrote a review...

Hi FourLeafClover! I'm here to review your poem here :-)

The first thing I noticed while reading this poem was that you didn't include any periods (except in the final line), just commas. Although periods certainly are not required in any poem, I think that it would've been nice to place a few here and there just to indicate separate thoughts/ideas, as well as offer a place for the reader to take a breath. For example, I feel that a period would've fit in right after the first and third lines, but as mentioned before, it's not absolutely necessary.

I appreciate how you have your poem set up in tercets, with the end of each line rhyming with two other ones. I like how it sounds when you read it aloud, and I think this makes your writing flow well.

As for the content of your poem, I think this is something that a lot of people can relate to, myself included. Some of my closest friends have moved far away, and sometimes thinking about the distance between us makes it hard. I especially liked these lines in particular:

"And though your hand is not in mine,

Our souls are still combined

And the stars must have aligned"

Overall, I think that you have a lovely poem here - if you show it to your friend, I hope they like it!

Thank you for the review!
And I did email her the link, and she did like it, which makes me really happy.

User avatar
23 Reviews

Points: 143
Reviews: 23

Thu Apr 01, 2021 4:23 pm
VintageGirl wrote a review...

Hello! Book_Dragon here for a quick review. I apologize in advance because I'm new to these, but I'll try my best.
First of all, I love the subject. I definitely relate to the moving and the friends moving deal. :(
Let's see...
The poem itself is very good. I like the rhyme scheme you chose! The only thing I would change is maybe add periods after every three lines. Or perhaps change some words so you don't start a sentence with "and" two times in a row.
Good job again!

Okay, thanks!

Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up 2%, and it's all because of my motivational techniques -- like donuts and the possibility of more donuts to come.
— Homer Simpson