Published September 28, 2010
Dear Hello Hey
I'm sorry. Let's just get down to the point. I'm sorry that I fell so hard for you, and I'm sorry that I have to give you this letter, because you really are going to miss out on something special. I love you. I really do, and I'm sorry that you don't love me back. I really think it should be you who is writing this letter, but I suppose I have to apologize about my stupid feelings.
You know, I thought you would be the type to express your feelings when I told you straight up how I felt about you. But you didn't. You didn't say anything. Then that day when everyone found out how I felt, you just laughed about how idiotic I was with your friends. After all the times I've told you things that I have never told anyone else before, after all those times we talked about what we wanted in life, what we needed. You still just laughed.
You really missed out on something amazing, something that you won't ever be able to have. Just don't come begging on your knees for me when you're lonely. Don't come telling me things that are supposed to be just yours and your ex's, because I won't give a damn. I won't give a damn about your life, your girlfriends, your past. I just won't give a damn.
Love
Sincerely
See you around
Goodbye
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139,427 Literary Works • 672,561 Reviews
You portray the anger that comes along with loving someone and losing them really well. This is very brilliant, you're really quite talented.
This is the perfect love sorry! I love it! It's just perfect.
Keep Writing!
Nike
The only thing that I can think of on how to improve this is to tell the reader what the person is doing or thinking while he or she is writing this. That would make it interesting. To improve it, you have to not be so blunt...or if you want the letter to be that way, you have to throw in some emotion by telling us what, as I said, what the narrator is doing. Let me give you an example:
Then put his or her thoughts in italics...
Tell the reader the things he or she could've also said but he or she didn't...Do you get it now? LOL I hope you do.
Now let's go with the idea of the story...why was he or she apologizing?? That's what I don't get...did something unwanted happen? Or was the person hurt...tell us!!!! XD
That's all *bow*
Keep writing though. Practice makes perfect
Hiya! i absolutely love it!
i mean i could actually feel the rage and anger in it
and it may be plain, but it got a lot of raw emotions...
so keep writing!
~Book Person~
Hello there forestqueen808
I thought that the content of this was very ordinary. Even though I felt the emotion and the heart ache expressed by the narrator, towards the end it just became a constant issue. It did not accelerate in other words. So because of that, the story became ordinary and a little boring and nagging. Other than that, your writing skills are pretty good, which is also important. And I thought it was very creative where you crossed out the words and stuff.
Keep writing.
THat was very straight forward and blunt, but you could have dwindled around and put some emotion in.
But, I totally get what your going for, and I also feel the ache of love.
You captured it perfectly.
Just add more emotion, and you are golden
Write On!
~WickedWonder