Fearless

Thank you all for your replies! It is quite appreciated.

Written on my heart- Hmm... perhaps a little too much space left open? I mean, I kept it nice and simple. Not dense at all, I thought it added to the piece. Oh well, sorry!

I read this again and think"wow".. yet there is still something missing.

This is a good poem. You use repetition well (I have trouble with that sometimes as you've already seen) and you are able to use the structure of your poem to give your message. This sounds to me like the typical person who is claiming to be unafraid of anything. Despite this, they fear something no matter how much they try to deny it. My only suggestion would be making the end of the poem a little less fractured than the other parts (conjunctions etc...) Other than that, nice job.

By the way, you were basically right about my message. I wanted to show how the new generation is like the old one in every way.

the repettitition kept my attention,but if you were truely afraid of nothing, you are contradicting that thought.

I agree with Charlotte. The repetition worked incredibly well! Yes, your poetry has this bit to it that one can't exactly point a finger at. Interesting. Interesting poem, I know I feel the same way!

God Bless--KIM

Hmm, I like it. I think the repetition worked well and you carried it off well even though it was the same idea the whole way through.
I think the rhythm was good.
I also liked the way the name was fearless but it sounded as if she/he was very afraid of something, at least to me it did.
I don't know why but this poem really gets to me.
Well done.
Charlotte
xxxxx