Do you think anyone actually cares? Do they really though? I mean I know teachers say " you can tell me anything" but let's be real they don't mean it. Parents, to busy with work. Siblings just don't understan. Friends are judgmental, they won't judge you, but I mean they don't except you for being yourself so they twist you into being what they imagine a perfect friend being.
I don't know why I told the boy on the corner, I was tired of sucking it up. He was the perfect stranger, I didn't know him, he didn't know me, we had never talked before so when I started to cry on the corner and he walked over to me and put his arm around me, it made me cry harder than before. I couldn't believe he cared, I was just some stranger that he got a bus with twice a week. Nothing special. He wiped my eyes and looked at me with those hazel brown eyes hidden behind a purple fringe that swept low below his eyes.
"Uhmm don't cry," he had said. " what's wrong cat?"
I remember looking at him inquisitively, my name isn't Cat, far from it in fact my names Mary Jane. (revenge from my father for killing my mother. That's the way he puts it anyway, my mother died at child birth and ever since my farther has been a proud to being mean and nasty, anyway back to the story.)Then I remembered my hat, a beenie with the words Cat scrawled across it in metallic blacks and whites, a late birthday present from my ex best friend, Jill, who also is trying to ruin my life by Spreading rumors that I am a murderer and more detailed information I would rather not go into.
"I'm fine" I said not very convincing.
"You can tell me, I'm just a random person, I don't matter." He had told me.
"It's silly, I'm silly it really doesn't matter," I said trying to signify the conversation was over, I started to walk away.
"Cat, wait, the bus will be here in 5 minutes, if you tell me now and then in five minutes, you get on that bus I'll wait for the next one and you can get on and never see me again." He said with a definitive smile, I knew there and then he wasn't going to give up. So I told him, everything. From my dad and how every morning before school he would be knocked out on the sofa from a hangover, to how my teacher singled me out for my gender.
I still really don't know why I did, but he was the perfect listener, he didn't judge me, he didn't interrupt me, he didn't seem bored or distracted, the whole time I was talking he fixed me with those brown hazel eyes and an inquisitive gaze. When I had finished pouring my guts out, my face tear stained and my eyes red and puffy, some how it felt good to cry get it out of my system. Then without warning he hugged me, I can't remember the last time someone hugged me like that, I felt so safe and warm, when he let me go he looked embarrassed and apologized but something in his voice hinted he wasn't sorry or regretted hugging me. This is the part where I say I fell in love with him and we lived happily ever after, well that didn't happen. I don't like random boys hugging me, so I stepped back and gave him the stink eye, I know it was rude but so was hugging me I mean, who goes around hugging random people?. Then just as the bus pulled up to the kerb I stood on my tippy toes and whispered in his ear:
"Hug me again and you'll regret it!"
I ran onto the bus just as the doors were closing and grabbed a window seat, but I didn't look out I kept my chin up and didn't look back. I don't need random guys going around hugging me I have enough problems as it is without some boy bugging me. I did feel better though, for telling someone my troubles but I still was uneasy. I let out a deep breath and relaxed, I was going to school, no dad, for nearly a whole day. I smiled. School was my happy place apart from that teacher. A vague image of dad slumped on the sofa smelling of booze and looking like he was at deaths door popped into my head, I was dreading school ending before it had began.