Real Life

Well written, interesting, and keeps you wanting more! You can get lost in the text and never want to look up. I was sad when it was over. It doesn't matter that you used an I-pad it was great all things considered. Dark and edgy in some places, but bright in the long run. I loved it never stop writing these poems!

Spaulds here for a review!

Ok, so this poem is extremely well written! it flows fantastically and is just about the perfect length! I do have a few small complaints though.

First off, I have to say I respectfully disagree with the view point this poem presents. I happen to think that there are many moments in life that are both real and happy. That, however, is just my personal opinion, so I guess it doesn't really matter.

Anyway, I understand that this was typed on an I-Pad, but I would consider typing this up and splitting the stanzas up properly, this poem is fantastic and i think it would be even better if it was split up correctly. (I have tried to type on the I-Pad, believe me I understand the difficulty.)

Ok, I would also suggest that you work on the punctuation a little bit. Some of the commas are placed a little funny and it makes the poem difficult to read.

Other than those little comments, I really can't stress to you enough what a great poem this is! I think if you work on the spacing and such, that this will be a fantastic poem!


~Spaulds

This poem really got to me and more than anything I found it interesting. I started reading and the first impression that I got was someone remembering their happy moments in life like movie moments, photographs etc. and it feels like a hopeful and happy poem. Then comes the middle and in a sudden U-turn you reverse the flow of the poem and the flow the poem takes from there is exactly opposite to the beginning.
In my opinion you started out to write a dark poem and imply that 'life is ugly' but what I see is that you are struggling with the subject especially because the lower half is weaker than the upper one and it looks like that you are trying to convince yourself of that but in all there is an opposite statement coming out. Had the lower half been better I'm sure it would have been a beautiful example of a contrast that you'd be bringing out.
All things considered, there was a pull in the poem and the execution was good. There is a scope for improvement what doesn't have that? Good attempt. Keep writing!

The execution of the poem is the main loving factor of all readers and the presentation of title is also a notable point while reading this poem .The poem has various attracting factor which provoke every reader to completely read this poem also the execution of simple and understandable words are good qualities of the writer and the character of the writer is shown in this poem .The style of writing is appreciable and the writer had put a good time for writing the poem the ending lines has a different impact on this poem even though I am not a perfect writer to command and point out the mistakes in the poem I would like to say that you had put some effort in writing this poem . I would like to comment on my traditional language [pollichu] means simply wonderful