Published March 24, 2008
What happened to the older days?
When times were slower,
and happiness easier.
When a "friend in need",
was a "friend indeed".
What happened to the wars we fought?
the men that died,
to save our freedoms.
When now in a moment,
they can be taken away.
What happened to America?
Now choked with chains,
unbreakable and heavy,
not binding the body,
but enslaving the mind.
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139,539 Literary Works • 672,604 Reviews
I loved this. I agree with aestar. You should send this to the White House. It's touching and very interesting.
Oh, I liked this a lot. It had so much feeling in it. Which makes poetry poetry! And also because it was so true! Very well done.
Great Job
My edits in bold.
So I guess it was mostly comments, not edits...
Your rhythm was great in the first stanza, but after that it kind of died.
Your third stanza was my favorite, but I think that it would be better if you got rid of the third line. I know that would make it a four line stanza in a five line poem, buuut... I think it would be worth it.
My only edits have to do with rhythm, the content was great.
9/10
Teh Wozzinator
Yay!
I love the point you make because tis true...tis..tis...tis...uh...tis
Two words: Right on!
Very touching. You made a valid point that not many people think about and realize. Great job!
AMEN, BROTHER. Send this to the White House. Lord knows they need this poem. It is a great projection of the perpetual decline of America!!!!!