Young Writers Society

E - Everyone

Science at large

by Firerift24

 Science is very hard to understand sometimes and this book is going to help you understand science!!!!

                                   What is science?

Science is all around us we walk through it we breathe it we even use it.So what is science? science is the formations of all living things like bacteria and pathogens . Science is what defines us and the world around us. What can science give us? Science can give us a lot of things from tools we use to things we learn!  

                                  Our sun

Our  sun is the source to all living things on earth. In fact without the sun the earth wouldn't even be formed. the suns gravity in its core pulls in gravity and puts out gravity as well as the elements in the surface of the sun such as co2 and nitrogen. When the core runs out of energy it can no longer sustain the energy required to keep its self in place. The sun then collapses on its self and explodes into the next stage witch is a red giant. Once the star is in its next stage it regains the core and does the same thing. It pulls gravity in and pushes it out to sustain gravity and pull. Once the core finally finalizes it then collapses again either into a blackhole,white dwarf,or a nebula witch actually creates more stars. When a blackhole is formed it can also go 2 ways. It can become a galaxy or stay a constant black hole are sun will just stay a blackhole if it goes that path. When something becomes a blackhole it has a quasar and explodes 2 beams of light destroying everything in its path. A white dwarf is the final stage of the sun.

                                               Are atmosphere 

The atmosphere is a protective coating that blankets the earth. The atmosphere is made up of 5 layers gases and particulates. The five layers in order from bottom to top are the Troposphere the Stratosphere the Mesosphere the Thermosphere and the Exosphere. The hottest layer is not the troposphere but rather than the thermosphere. The harmful radiation from the sun are trapped inside of the ozone layer or o3. The uv light trapped in the o3 in the thermosphere and mesosphere heat up the molecules to about 2,000 degrees celcius. But because the air is so thin it spreads the molecules making the atmosphere feel cold. The pollution destroys the ozone layer and puts o3 inside of the troposphere witch is dangerous because o3 is toxic to breathe. The atmosphere is composed of 76% nitrogen 17%oxygen 4%water vapor 2% co2 or carbon dioxide and 0.03%argon. leaving 0.07% particulates such as dust water droplets etc. This is the composition of earths atmosphere.  

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Points: 381
Reviews: 3

Fri Dec 18, 2015 3:14 pm
gandolphh wrote a review...

Hiiii. I love science and this is very descriptive. It was a very nice read but the beginning needed some work in terms of punctuation. First of all, the facts were very accurately represented, giving the reader a great sense of understanding. All I would do is edit some of your spaces between words and add punctuation in the beginning. In the first sentence, I would say, "Science is all around us, we walk through it, we breath it". Add in those commas if you can. Also, for all of the paragraphs, I would recommend indenting the first sentence. The second subheading should also be "our" instead of are. There are some grammar mistakes here and there. You should also include that when a star collapses, it causes a supernova. This would also help the reader understand more. Overall, it is a great piece but some work is needed.

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35 Reviews

Points: 24
Reviews: 35

Tue Sep 15, 2015 4:01 am
MrMuddyPig wrote a review...

This is great, now write down a new textbook! Just kidding. This was some great imformation by the way, will help me on the test.

I will list down some mistakes,

The first sentence is a run on and has too much exclamtion marks in the end.

In fact without the sun earth wouldnt be formed needs commas.

The five layers,the tropsphere,the stratsosphere,the memosphere,the themosphere and the exosphere needs extra commas.

This was good.

Bye and keep writing with your great mind!


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89 Reviews

Points: 342
Reviews: 89

Tue Sep 15, 2015 3:20 am
DeepCrystal wrote a review...

Interesting. I hate science, but this this is interesting. I agree with most of what Halfbloodcheetah said, and I second them. And more. What part of this represents you? This is basically a scientific spew of things that we might already know. Not to dis on your efforts, but what represents you? How do you feel about science and what this particular science does for you? Spice this up. For example, try incorporating your own feelings to make this spew of information come more alive. This is listed as science fiction, but I see no fiction. If there is going to be fiction, you must make it more present, more appealing.

Like I said, this was interesting, that is why I believe that it can turn into exciting and not just a bout of information.

Have a good night!

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40 Reviews

Points: 131
Reviews: 40

Tue Sep 15, 2015 1:43 am
Halfbloodcheetah wrote a review...

The Halfbloodcheetah is here! For a review!

Hello Firerift24! Welcome to the YWS!

I really like this because it shows that you took your time to study the subject you were writing on. You gave us a research paper, that to my knowledge is very accurate! I am glad you want to help people understand science. :)

I do, however see some things that need to be corrected. "Are Atmosphere" should be "Our Atmosphere" I know that our and are sound similar but Are is a linking verb and our is the better word to use.

Also with the elements and Compound, you always capitalize the letter. Instead of o3 it would be O3, or CO2 instead of co2.

When you are listing things make sure to put a comma between each thing.
Here is a good example:
"The atmosphere is composed of 76% nitrogen 17%oxygen 4%water vapor 2% co2 or carbon dioxide and 0.03%argon. leaving 0.07% particulates such as dust water droplets etc. This is the composition of earths atmosphere"

There are a lot of needed punctuation and capitalization that you are missing. The above sentence should look more like this.

"The atmosphere is composed of 76% Nitrogen, 17% Oxygen, 4% water vapor, 2% CO2 or carbon dioxide, 0.03% Argon and 0.07% particulates such as dust water droplets etc. This is the composition of earths atmosphere"

Other than all the above stuff, Good job! :D Hope to read more from you!

Some books should be tasted, some devoured, but only a few should be chewed and digested thoroughly.
— Francis Bacon