I was in fifth grade when I realized something. A lot of people don't enjoy reading.
I was in seventh grade when I realized something else. Nobody who actually enjoyed reading seemed to experience it in the same way I did. None of my friends who fawn over books all the time had actually been there.
Now, I know what you're thinking. Well, duh. Books are works of fiction that never actually happened.
Hate to break it to ya, but you're wrong. Well, mostly wrong. Every book is just an idea until it's written down and published somewhere. Then, don't ask me how because I don't know, a sort of portal forms. But it only happens when certain people read books. I like to call us "Book Walkers".
If you realized I am one of these people, congratulations! You're smart!
I've never actually met another Book Walker before. I could be the only one, but I'm betting there's more.
Whenever I read a book I like, (it has to be one I like), I kind of fall into it. Not actually get sucked inside the book of course, but I become a part of that book.
Books written in first person, I become the narrator. If they say they smell freshly mowed grass, I smell freshly mowed grass. If they feel exhausted, I get sleepy too. Eventually, I'm not even reading words on the page. I experience the words on the page.
Books in third person are kind of weird. It's like I'm a ghost, floating over the scene. I'm in the story, but I'm like that side person who is describing what's going on. They're there, because the story wouldn't exist without someone to tell it, but they don't exist in the story itself.
Second person books, reading when I'm tired, and books I don't like have no effect on me at all. I guess I have to be into something to go into that dimension.
That's what I call the different stories I experience. I think of them as a dimension. Why? Because they don't exist in my life, in my world, they only exist in theirs.
Am I confusing you? Sorry. I guess I should simplify and speed things up a bit.
Anyway, that's why I'm here. Speaking to you. I got stuck here, in this world and I can't escape. I went to far. My body is actually in this story now. I can get hurt. I can't go back.
Something's coming for me. I can hear it pounding after me. It has fangs and claws, I know from experience. It doesn't want me to escape. Only another Walker can save me now, and that's unlikely.
I have one last thing to say before it comes. A warning. You could be a Book Walker too. If you are, remember: never delve too deep into a story. Always be careful to stay alert in your world.
Don't worry about saving me, and save yourself before it's too late. Before your memory is wiped and you become a part of the book. Before you fade from your world's memory, or your real body dies. Do it now, because I could already be too late.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
This is great use of italicization. Just look at the difference between "A lot of people don't enjoy reading." and "A lot of people don't enjoy reading." In the latter, I can just feel the narrator's disgust. Good job.
The sudden shift in tone from more upbeat and sarcastic to dark is really good, wasn't expecting it. You brought up the idea of being a "book walker", that you feel exactly whats going on in a first person story. But then you bring up this darker, dangerous side to it that I don't think many people really think about. At least, that's what I got out of it.
This was fun to read, the narration is whimsical and entertaining, the concept is interesting. Good job!
Thanks for the review!
Wow. Just wow. I love this short. I'm so glad I'm not the only "Book Walker"!!!!!!!! Its so true though. When you put down the book, it takes you time to realize your reality. Its suddenly so different. Its so dramatic, yet such a beautiful piece. I'm too distracted by what you wrote to give you any criticism!
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
Hi!
First off, your idea is interesting and has grear potential. I would love to see this developed into a story that incorporates this idea to the plot. It would be awesome.
The way you wrote this was stunning. It made me feel like you were talking to me from inside this essay, and it turns out that was the case!
I have no problems on your grammar and structure, because you presented it neatly. But if you do decide to develop this idea, then there should be principles. Does it only work on books? If it does, then why only books? If you edit a part of a story in a book, what happens when you walk into it? And many more.
IMO, this may be a bit tricky if you develop this because you're juggling with many points of view, but I have hopes in you.
Overall, it's a good read and a great idea. Can't wait for this to be developed into a great story!
Keep writing and reading!
~Van
Thanks for the review! I might develop this further, but I'm not really sure yet. I'll let you know if I do
Okay- So i just read this thing on 'what isn't a good review' and apparently saying 'Wow! Best idea I've ever heard!' Isn't helpful so I kind of don't know what to say.
I'm really hoping you turn thins into a bigger story though. If you do, let me know, I definitely want to read it. Everything reads off really comfortably and I'm really curious as to what happens to the narrator.
Additionally, this was really creative. *Breaks the 'what not to do rule'* Wow! Best idea I've ever heard! Seriously though, this is great. Keep up the good work.
-ChocolateCello
I don't really have much to say except thanks! I think I might continue this in a longer story, but I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know if I do!
(Just wanted to let you know I didn't mean for this to be a review. I posted it as a comment but then got a message saying it was marked as a review and I felt bad because I barely wrote anything and I don't want to look like I'm hoarding points...)
It's fine, dont worry! Im just glad you took some time to read and comment on my story
Heyo! xJ here for a review.
First of all, nice intro to the story, it went smoothly. The only thing I would suggest is that instead of separating the first line into two sentences, try this - "I was in fifth grade when I realized something: A lot of people don't enjoy reading." The colon just connects the category with the example, or however that works. Same thing with the next sentence.
And in your introduction as well, there was a sentence I found a bit confusing. "None of my friends who fawn over books all the time had actually been there." It was confusing at first, but then I understood. But you might want to word that sentence differently. Using the word "there" doesn't make it specific enough. People may think they're lost and you may be talking about something different than the current subject.
Second of all, this doesn't feel like a short story, it's more of an essay honestly, or at least that's what it seems like.
"Then, don't ask me how because I don't know, a sort of portal forms." There is a needless "then" in this sentence. And "A sort of portal forms" sounds... awkward and "bad" in a way.
Not trying to be rude. Don't take offense! But, writers should learn to take constructive criticism. So... do that?
And I've realized that after this point that this "short story" is not a short story.
IT'S AN ESSAY.
"Am I confusing you? Sorry. I guess I should simplify and speed things up a bit." Don't apologize or ask the reader questions because you know FOR A FACT that there will be no answer.
Except for the answer I'm giving you, and I am slightly confused.
But, overall, it's not the best work I've seen, but it wasn't bad! Just work on your grammar and your writing skills, and you'll be fine and dandy, yah?
-xJ
Thanks for the review! I just kind of wrote this off the top of my head, so there wasn't much editing involved. Also, I was trying to make the writing seem a bit rough and rushed (because of the character and how they were being chased), so that was probably why it wasn't my best work. Thanks again for your review!