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Torn Apart

by FireSpyGirl


Burning, flaming,

Hurting, dying,

A knife, stabbing,

Twisting and cutting

Into my heart, thrusting

through into my soul.

~~~~~~~~~~~

A black, empty hole 

That cannot be healed.

When life tears you away

From someone you love,

It tears you apart.

~~~~~~~~~~

You want to die,

Escape the pain,

The terror, the reality.

What can you do?

What is the point?

Most important of all,

WHY?


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24 Reviews


Points: 23
Reviews: 24

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Mon Aug 26, 2019 7:59 pm
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ToxicAnglerFish wrote a review...



I really love how you describe the imagery of pain, hopeless, and sadness in this poem. It feels very emotional and extreme like how these emotions can feel when we are going through stressful times like the one described in the poem. I really like what words you chose for the poem also, I feel like there selected well for a short yet powerful and gripping poem. I also like how direct this poem feels like you ripped out your emotions and stuffed them into this poem that goes back to my point in my beginning sentence, it feels like you directly talking to us, the reader. The final questioning bit also really shows the desperateness you are feeling like you have to know why which I think everyone has done at some point. Overall good poem!




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Points: 0
Reviews: 0

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Sun Aug 25, 2019 5:24 pm
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rosej says...



It was heartbreaking but beautiful.
Loads of love.




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Points: 234
Reviews: 39

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Sun Aug 18, 2019 2:54 am
brookeallo wrote a review...



Hi,

I'm going to give a review. I thought that after reading the full poem I could definently tell where you were going with it. I could understand the feelings and just the stress of what you are telling about. There were a few parts that were a little confusing closer to the beginning such as when you went on from the stabbing through your heart into your self the imagery just makes me think like so is your soul through your heart then? I love the last stanza of the poem though I thought it was really really good and showed the desperation and stress of what you are feeling.




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16 Reviews


Points: 9
Reviews: 16

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Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:13 pm
Zrillis wrote a review...



Hello I hope you are well on this fine day. So let's get into a review.

I would first like to say that I am not a fan of rhyme schemes such as this one, but since I have said it I wont comment further on that. 😅

Ok into the review.

You have great overall structure but the way you split it up for a poem is slightly distracting for me personally. Its not a bad thing it just isnt for me.
You message is clear and thats great.

Now that I have said that I hope you are feeling better then the day you wrote this. Goodluck and have a great day.




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265 Reviews


Points: 15266
Reviews: 265

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Thu Aug 15, 2019 4:49 pm
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Liberty wrote a review...



Hi FireSpyGirl.

Hope you're doing well. I'm here to give you a review some kind words.

I'm really sorry to see this is what you've been going through lately. I wish I could help and do something for you, but all I can do for now is offer you a hand whenever you need it. PM me when you want to.

I can understand what you're going through right now because the words you chose are so perfect and they describe what's hurting you. I definitely understand.

You want to die,

Escape the pain,

The terror, the reality.


^That is very true. Very very true. But you know what? You'll get over it someday. I promise you. You'll think: That was nothing! I'm strong enough to fight through this storm of sadness and anger.

It'll work out. <3 I promise it will.

And as always...

Keep on writing!

~Liberty




FireSpyGirl says...


Thank you! I know I haven't been writing a lot lately, and this is part of why. thank you for the kind words though.



Liberty says...


That's not a problem. You can get back up whenever you feel is the right time. :)




"I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy..."
— Unnamed Girl from "Mean Girls"