Published July 22, 2011
I went into the washroom tent that they had set up for the ladies to put my hair up and splash my face with water. The Italian sun had risen to its peak in the sky and the heat had started to bear down on the attendants of the summer revels. As I was gathering my hair to wrap it with a ribbon, Catherine walked in, her face glowing with a smile. Once she saw me, she stopped in her tracks, the smile fading from her face and her features rearranging until her expression became a cool mask.
“Your Grace,” she said sharply, inclining her head instead of curtsying. I watched her reflection in the mirror I was in front of as she walked stiffly over to the sink beside mine. She washed her hands while I put up my hair in silence for a moment, and then I turned to her and started.
“What is it you think you’re doing with the king?” I asked indignantly. She did not even flinch.
“Something Maria could never do, please him. And in the future, near future, I will give him sons,” she replied arrogantly, placing her thin hand over her flat stomach.
“You will never succeed, you will not win at this little game you are playing,” I said, anger seeping into my matter-of-fact tone.
“Just you see. Just everybody wait and see. I have him in the palm of my hand, and soon, I will be beside him on the throne of Italy, at my rightful place as Queen,” said Catherine defiantly, in the surest of sure tones.
“Ha! You fool! You honestly think you can overthrow a Queen whose birthright was the throne of Italy? I advise you to retreat while you still can, because if you do not your family shall fall so far that they will never be able to rise again.”
Catherine’s eyes flared angrily, “It has been done before! Women not even of the same caliber as me have successfully overthrown withering queens from their places, and now, so will I! I will rise higher than anyone thought possible! I will be Queen!” she finished in a huff and started to march, head held high, over to the tent’s exit.
I smiled grimly at her vanity as I turned back to my reflection in the mirror.
“You’re right. Women in the past have been able to overthrow Queens from their rightful places in the past. Anne Boleyn was one of those women. But, you remember what happened to Anne Boleyn in the end, don’t you?” I sneered with a triumphant grin spreading on my face.
She froze in the front of the exit at that, remembering. She did not turn towards me, but her high head came down a little. That pleased me, so I continued.
“If you make one wrong move,” I looked away from my reflection and dead at Catherine, “heads will roll.”
Her back tensed for a moment as she stood there, then she walked out of the tent rigidly, her head noticeably closer to her chest than usual. I turned back to the mirror, put on a charming Swan smile, and walked out of the tent after her.
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140,138 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
This piece is just as good as the first! The only mistake i saw was
The end of that sentence should be a question mark. Other than that, amazing job! I enjoyed this piece just as mch as the first. Especially her witty little comeback at the end. Glorious!
Thank you so much for your comment @luxevampwolfwithwand! I appreciate it! To start off I know I should have explained more thouroughly so forgive me
. This is a clip, well more like a scene from my whole story "The War of the Swans, and this scene is kind of in the middle. I know its wierd, but since this is something taken out of the middle of the whole story, eveything is not fully explained. All the characters are already fully developed in the actual novella, but since I havent posted it (and i probably wont have the whole think up for a while) its kind of confusing. Just know that when I have everything set up, you will sort of understand this scene as being in the middle of a whole and not just standing on its own with undeveloped characters. Again, sorry for such confusion haha. Anyway, to clarify some of the other things you mentioned: When Catherine is saying "Your Grace" she is reffering to the narrator, Isabella, who is a princess, not the queen. I know ususally "your grace" is used for dukes and dutchess but i just put it in there for her rather than "Your Highness." I will probably change that now though haha. And "the queen" they are reffering to is Queen Maria 
Isabella's aunt. I think thats about it, thank you soooo much for your comment! 
I hope you liked the scene 
Sweet, I love the intrigue of the the two women fighting! Just a few things, though.
The comma should probably be a colon.The other thing I'm slightly confused about is who the woman Catherine is talking to is. If she's the queen, she wouldn't be 'Your Grace'. She would be 'Your Highness.' When you say 'Maria,' though, it makes me think that the woman she is talking to is just a duchess, in which 'Your Grace' would be entirely appropriate. That just confused me a little.
I thought your description of the fight was fairly well done. You had them throwing snarky comments back and forth and the comment about Anne Boleyn was well-placed. I think that you should maybe work on your characters a little bit more though. We need to get to know them better. I felt like you were very vague on what they were like. Just go in and fix that up and this will be a lot better. The character development seemed to be your weakest point.
Other than those, your grammar was pretty good and I liked the story. Just work on the things above. Keep writing!
Cheers,
Luxe
Haha, thank you so much!
Ooooh!!! I LOVE it!!! Seriously, that's really good. I love how witty the main character is!