Published July 24, 2011
How good to be still—completely
Still, arrested in space if not time—
A comma before the ampersand.
Like—between blinks—the planes
Stuck above the coast like
Misshapen stars on their
Way to Newark. Like—before
You look too close, before
The birds come home—a copse
On a pretty day.
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139,622 Literary Works • 672,635 Reviews
I liked this, our writing style is intriguing but I feel that this poem was lacking something. It just didn't feel right to me. Meh, just my own personal opinion on the piece. Otherwise, impeccable grammar and spelling. Well done and keep on writing
xx Matt
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I just so happened to read this while listening to central park west by John Coltrane and it was a beautiful mix.
In all honesty I have not found much of the poetry I have read on here enjoyable (granted, it hasn't been much) as I've found it a touch trite, but this I enjoyed very much.
Sweet, simple and effective, I have read it several times (each with the Coltrane lol).
My only negative is reserved for myself in that I can offer no constructive critism, making this completely defunct.
I must say, I really loved this. In it's profound simplicity and the image you created - really nice! Although, one little quip I have is that the start of each line is capitalized and it isn't grammatically right. But that's just me being nitpicky.
Loved it anyway.
- whispering sound
- & (I feel like I should know this)
At the very least, I can say I learned a few things while reading this poem. I have no problem with poetry that uses words or phrases or ideas that I'm not familiar with, as long as they serve the purpose of the poem.
It was a little opaque in meaning, but I did get the feeling that if the world stopped rotating for a moment, it could be described with this poem.
I am not usually a fan of simplicity, but in this case I'd say you did a good job conveying your meaning. Besides, I learned two new words as a result.
Wow, just wow. I really have nothing to say because it was short and amazing. Great work! I don't think I've ever used an - because I know nothing about them or how to use them. But you seemed to pull it off well. Nice use of vocabulary and I think this is one of those poems where you could spend an entire week figuring out what one line means