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Young Writers Society



How Was Your Day? - Chapter 10.2

by Que


Finnley couldn't focus that entire class- it was exceptionally strange for him, because he was always paying closer attention than anyone could guess at. He was worried about Mia, and some of the girls who had been crowding him at lunch along with Sylvie were shooting him sidelong glances across the room when the teacher's back was turned. They had an air of smugness about them, and Finnley was sour about the whole situation.

Mia had clearly taken Finnley's silence as intentional, as she sent a final text with a sort of iciness near the end of the period. He checked his phone during the passing period, only to see the two accusing messages.

"I can't believe that she just flirted with you for a few minutes and you agreed to go to homecoming with her! What we need to do is so much bigger than a stupid high school dance."

"I see."

She ignored every text he sent during the periods afterwards, telling her that what she had thought didn't actually happen. Finnley tried to convey this to her using all sorts of different angles, but nothing got a response from her. He made such an effort that his next teacher had to take away his phone for the period, forcing him to surrender to Mia's painful silence.

Finnley thought she would come around and realize that Sylvie was just lying, but it didn't happen. She had turned cold and empty towards him, talking with others instead. Her vicious and meaningful glares during their shared gym period were enough to send him fleeing to the bathroom, where he hid, waiting out the rest of the school day. When the final bell rang, signaling the end of the day, he waited until the noise of people passing died down before slipping out of the restroom. The door closed behind him with a gentle thud.

He walked towards his locker with a sort of wearying defeat. He didn't know of a way to reach Mia, to tell her what had really happened. And he certainly couldn't even begin to try with Sylvie following him around throughout the day. Finnley knew he should go over to her house, where he could talk it out with her, but at the same time he hated the thought of confrontation. Maybe he should put it off; maybe she would calm down and realize that the story she'd accepted of Finnley going to homecoming with Sylvie didn't agree with everything else she knew about him.

"Hey," a voice called, echoing down the hall. Finnley paused. He could immediately tell it wasn't Mia. He popped the lock off the door to his locker, then turned around. A girl stood nearby, wearing a lacy blue top.

"You're one of Sylvie's girls, aren't you?" he said. The words had slipped from his brain down to his tongue and out his mouth before he could decide to take them back. His right hand closed tightly about the lock as he inwardly cursed himself for the insensitive remark. Plenty of girls in school dressed like that; it didn't mean she was a part of Sylvie's posse.

However, she replied with folded arms and tossed out, "I am." Finnley started to reply, but she held up a single hand. "But just because I am doesn't mean you should judge a group of people based on one individual. Do you blame an individual for decisions their countries made centuries ago? Or all dogs just because one dog bit your friend? It's true that others in Sylvie's group are cruel, but you don't know them as individuals. And I haven't done anything like that," she added, after a moment.

When Finnley didn't reply, the girl looked a little uncomfortable and ran a hand through her hair. It was an ash brown color, and had violet streaks of dye. "You look so much like..." she murmured, then trailed off into nothing, shaking her head thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry," Finnely said, shaking himself out of his stupor. Best to get it over with. "I didn't mean to make assumptions about you."

"It's alright, Finnley. I'm used to it," she said with a smile. It seemed to him that she was a little bit relieved. She shifted from foot to foot, looking awkward in tight blue jeans. "Maybe wearing the same things as everyone else just makes me feel a bit bolder. Like I'm part of something."

"How do you know my name?" he asked, bewildered. He tried to figure out the rest of what she'd said, but he couldn't understand how wearing clothes that were popular could make anyone bolder. Finnley thought it would make a person more afraid; he wore his sweatshirts because it made him feel safer, less out in the open.

The girl shrugged, casually walking closer. "How could anyone not, after what happened today? Sylvie's interests are the group's interests, whether they like it or not. Though, I must say, it's not you she's interested in."

Finnley was taken aback. "I beg your pardon?" He wasn't entirely sure what to make of this girl. Why was she taking to him, of all people? Was this a part of Sylvie's plan- make him think that she was a better person worthy of consideration by sending someone he felt at ease with? Because it was true; he felt oddly at ease with this strange girl.

"It's about your friend, Mia," she said, shrugging one shoulder. "There was something... something in her past. Between Sylvie and Mia. She's always been awfully mad about it, but now she thinks she can get at Mia through you, and finally get revenge. I really don't know what she did."

Finnley furrowed his brows. He was relieved to know it wasn't actually about getting him to go to homecoming, but it was about Mia, and he was worried for her friend. He hadn't seen anyone hit a nerve in her before now, and it wasn't something he wanted to think about. He needed to get to her, to say something.

Finnley grabbed the things he needed from his locker, stuffing them into his backpack with a new kind of energy. "Thank you... what was your name?"

"Monica Black," she said.

"Monica," Finnley repeated, slowly closing his locker. "Thank you for telling me, Monica," he said, but when he turned around, she had disappeared.  


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Sun Jan 28, 2018 12:20 pm
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Panikos wrote a review...



Hiii, Querencia! Pan dropping in for another review.

"I can't believe that she just flirted with you for a few minutes and you agreed to go to homecoming with her! What we need to do is so much bigger than a stupid high school dance."

"I see."

She ignored every text he sent during the periods afterwards, telling her that what she had thought didn't actually happen. Finnley tried to convey this to her using all sorts of different angles, but nothing got a response from her. He made such an effort that his next teacher had to take away his phone for the period, forcing him to surrender to Mia's painful silence.


My first though was that she was being a oddly unreasonable, but then again, Mia is always quite brash about things, and it does seem that she has some bad history with this Sylvie. I'm not quite sure about the 'I see' text, though. What does it add? It seems like a weird thing for her to say, because it's the kind of thing you'd usually type in response to someone else. When I first read it, I thought that was Finnley's message back to her, and then got even more confused when I realised it wasn't. I feel like you could delete it and nothing would be lost.

Small point, but I wouldn't describe the homecoming text as 'icy'. It's screams fiery annoyance to me.

Her vicious and meaningful glares during their shared gym period were enough to send him fleeing to the bathroom, where he hid, waiting out the rest of the school day.


God, I love Finnley. Just straight-up hiding from conflict and hoping it goes away. I can relate.

"I am." Finnley started to reply, but she held up a single hand. "But just because I am doesn't mean you should judge a group of people based on one individual. Do you blame an individual for decisions their countries made centuries ago? Or all dogs just because one dog bit your friend? It's true that others in Sylvie's group are cruel, but you don't know them as individuals. And I haven't done anything like that," she added, after a moment.


I don't really buy her logic. While it can be difficult to stop your friends from being cruel, there's a difference between judging someone for being from a certain country and judging someone for hanging out with bullies. You can't choose your nationality, but you can choose your friends. She's not really got the right to be on her high horse here.

It did strike me as quite an odd spiel to come out with to a stranger, as well, but maybe that is just Monica's personality. I do get the sense that she's a bit unusual.

It was an ash brown color, and had violet streaks of dye.


Bit of a clunky sentence. Could maybe have: 'It was an ash brown color, streaked with violet dye.

"It's about your friend, Mia," she said, shrugging one shoulder. "There was something... something in her past. Between Sylvie and Mia. She's always been awfully mad about it, but now she thinks she can get at Mia through you, and finally get revenge. I really don't know what she did."


Interesting. I'm really intrigued to know what this history between them is. I wonder if it'll link to the overall plot with what's going on in the forest? I can't think how it would, and it certainly doesn't have to, but it would be interesting if it tied into that somehow.

and he was worried for his friend.


Okay, so that's all for the specifics! I do like Monica, despite her slightly faulty logic. I feel like she's a good kid at heart, and she does seem a bit of an oddball, so I wonder if she's hanging out with Sylvie's lot just to try and fit in and find friends where she can. Like BlueAfrica noted, I like that Monica is 'like other girls' but she's still got her quirks, you know? I sort of hope that her dress choice and friend group isn't entirely down to her wanting to fit in, because I'd like to see a girl who actually enjoy 'mainstream' things but isn't treated as a lesser character for it. She seems good so far, though. I like that she seems aware of her friends' cruelty but not actually that apologetic about it. It's odd. She's oddly practical. Props to her for filling Finnley in on the truth, though.

That's all for this review. I do feel like this chapter as a whole has been quite sudden and fast-paced; you could've done with hinting at some of Mia's school conflicts a little earlier in the story, and maybe could've led up to the whole Sylvie issue a bit more gradually. At the moment, it feels a little like it's just been thrown in to stop things from going too smoothly. You'd solve that if we got a sense that it was brewing earlier in the novel.

Keep writing! :D
~Pan




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Tue Jul 04, 2017 2:37 pm
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PrincessInk wrote a review...



I already like Monica SO MUCH and I can imagine her being Mia's friend. I guess Mia is a lot more blunt and straightforward but both have that bit of spunk that I really like. I wonder how Monica will tie into the plot later!

I think Mia is being a biiit unreasonable about this, but I can easily understand if Sylvie is her archenemy or something like that. I guess she'd be normally more accepting for an explanation, but when this plan is VERY important to finding Mia's uncle, plus Sylvie wading in, it kind of does make sense for Mia to be upset about it.

But won't Finnley try to approach her in gym or between periods? At least, wouldn't he do that to make things straight again? Texts aren't enough, really, in my opinion. A face-to-face explanation may sound much more convincing to me, at least. At the end of the chapter, he decides. Did Mia's cold looks somehow chase him away?

So really, this just needs to be talked over and everything will be fine. So Finnley, just pick up your pluck and then go talk to Mia! Okay???? Okay. The next trouble is to actually get Mia to listen to what he's saying and I'm imagining a lot of pleading will ensue. So overall, I really like the Mia-Sylvie subplot (?) and I'm guessing it's going to be another obstacle for their investigation.

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Que says...


Thanks for the review! Finnley is totally an introvert, and so with Mia being cold, he doesn't have enough motivation to push past the cold barrier. Plus, he's never seen her like this, so he's more than a little freaked out and unsure of what he should do. Mia just needs to calm down and listen a bit, then everything should be fine. XD And I'm glad you like Monica. :)



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Mon Jul 03, 2017 12:19 pm
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BluesClues wrote a review...



I LOVE HER ALREADY and I hope she does stick around and continue to be awesome and also can she become friends with Mia because Girl Friends For Life.

Okay, so the main thing I was going to comment on here was how it seemed out of character for Mia to be so cold and unwilling to even talk about something and how I didn't like that she was so unwilling to even TRY to understand what had happened. But now, with what Monica said about something happening in the past between Sylvie and Mia, it makes sense. She's not going to act rationally or even the way we're used to her acting if she's afraid she might lose Finnley's friendship because of Sylvie.

Also, I appreciate Monica because I'm glad you've got a girl who's "like the other girls" in style, you know, but she's also a good person and interesting and willing to help out with Mia and Finnley. So she's "like the other girls," but that doesn't make her bad.

Omg Finnley "how did you know my name???" Seriously, Finnley. Seriously. How would she NOT know your name at this point?

But at least she addressed that when he asked.

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Que says...


Thank you for the review! Yeah, Mia's being just a bit out of character, she'll feel a bit bad about it when she and Finnley work things out. (Also totally Girl Friends For Life it is so going to happen) But honestly with that name thing, I do that all the time. Once I had a shirt with my name on it for a camp or something and a random stranger in public called me that and I freaked out for a minute before realizing it was on my shirt. XD And I'm glad you love Monica too!! <3
Thanks again!



BluesClues says...


HOORAY for Girl Friends For Life!

I think the only time in my life the name thing has happened to me was when I worked as a bagger at a grocery store and wore a name tag and people would call me by name. But it was never quite like "how did you know???" but more wondering if they had gotten it from my name tag or if I knew them from somewhere else and should feel bad for not remembering who they were.




Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
— Mark Twain