Published June 25, 2008
So spoke the Demon, mindful of hardships and of cruel slaughters:
Each dawn I rise alone, mind in ancient woes, wretched and deprived of my native land, my mind bound with fetter.
For many years, I lay hidden in the concealment of the earth, buried deep in stone.
From there, I went, object and wintergrieving, over the surface of the waves, seeking the prison of my noble kinsmen.
Sorrow is a cruel companion to one who can afford few friends, and the path of exile attends this mournful spirit.
And so this world, everyday, is crumbling and falling.
The rulers lie dead. Deprived of revelry, bands of warriors lie fallen proudly by the wall.
War destroyed some, carried them away; a sorrowful man hid one deep within a grave.
Thus the creator of man laid waste this dwelling place, until the old world of giants stood vacant, without the vibrance of its inhabitants.
So spoke the Demon, set apart in secret meditations: the kingdom of earth is full of miseries, and the decree of the fates shall not change the course of the heavens.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Whoa...nice. I like it, and it was a good thing that you put it in stanzas. Stanzas keep your work neater, and readers can find your work easy to read.

For me, this sounds like some sort of prologue to a fantasy novel. But overall, it was very nice, and full of great imagery. Good work!
Keep up!
This poem is very hard to read :S i couldn't make head'nor'tail of it! :S sorry.
It is all down to the structure. Try to sort that out and, i am sure the rest will follow.
From what i can surmise, this poem has a lot of passion written into it. That comes across right away for me - which, is no mean feat when you don't have a structure
Good effort, but please try and put it into stanzas.
Good luck.
Kris
x