Life slows down in the seconds before death, or at least that's what is said. As Steinback sat there starring down the silenced barrel of the gun, he finally realized what this entailed. He realized it wasn't pleasant, he realized that in the instants before death, death itself couldn't come soon enough. He heard the shot or, well heard the muffled sound of what he believed to be a shot. It was at that point he realized how tight the ropes were tied around his hands. Unlike the ones at his feet, the cordage binding his clenched fists dug deep in his skin, nearly cutting the blood flow and rendering the appendage as white as paper. There was this feeling he was all too familiar with, the feeling of these invisible ants crawling along his fists. He knew that his hands had fallen asleep from the lack of blood and he realized the pain stopped, the pain caused by the ropes had ceased.
Rope? Why rope? Micheal wondered, from all he had seen in the movies, on television, why not cable ties? He saw the bullet, past the elongated silencer just as it exited the gun. Round, with a slight tip, he recognized that it would be the last thing he ever saw.
He felt it, he felt as the tip entered his forehead, slower that he would've expected, slower that he would've wanted. The recoil, he had forgotten about that, but he now realized he was falling. Of course the frail wooden chair wasn't strong enough to withstand the knock back from the bullet. He vaguely remembered his physics class, his teacher telling him about types of energy and the way it was transferred. Then, one crucial question popped into his head: why wasn't he dead already? The bullet was clearly in his head, he could feel it moving towards his brain.
He then noticed the pain, excruciating pain vibrating through his skull. It was like a rodent was clawing his way out of Steinback’s skull. He saw the floor becoming evermore close to him and he wished for one thing: death. His head hit the floor, and almost simultaneously, his wish was granted. The bullet traversed his brain and Micheal Steinback closed his eyes for the last time.
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,837 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Well this was a really nice little piece. Just taking two seconds out of a tiny action and stretching it out into a scene...makes for a pretty cool visual certainly and you've conjured that through your words fairly well I think. Anyway more details below.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Oh wow...quite a powerful image there created right at the very start. This story is certainly starting with a big ol' bang. (No Pun Intended) This first paragraph here is doing a killer job (No Pun Intended) of getting the attention of the reader her and its a great way to start the story off, tapping into the emotions of our protagonist as well here, so that's its very easy for us to imagine what that situation must be like.
OOohh I see a description inspired the old classic slow motion bullet firing scene I see....well...not quite sure how well it translates to a book but let's see.
Well that's a very long conversation to have while a bullet is making its way through your brain...pretty cool paragraph though still to have him remember something like that in that moment.
Well...that was quite a substantial couple of seconds...well...pretty cool little scene there...that's for sure...and...umm...well pretty much the expected ending..with a nice little touch of finality there.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Well...this was interesting...not too much there for me to say down here honestly....so I think Imma sign off here. It was an interesting read, think you did a good enough job there conveying a scene like that.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
I could get the whole image of this in my mind and it's truly shivering. I love the way you made your words flow into this piece and your vocabulary is amazing! It's very descriptive and fits so well with your writing style!
it was such a ride reading this. I applaud you.
Hello. My name is TeaLeaf. I am going to be reviewing your story.
Firstly, I have to say that I have never read anything like this before. What I enjoyed is that it felt as if time had instantly slowed down in the midst of reading your piece. The small and vivid descriptions create a sense of reality, as if the reader is there witnessing the entire event in front of them. But in my opinion, what really brings the story to life are the small random and scattered thoughts that the protagonist ponders upon before he dies.
The only nitpicks that I have are these:
It should be spelt as "staring".
You write that the bullet is inside his head but it is moving towards his brain? This sentence is confusing to me.
Other than those two nitpicks, this is a well written piece and I very much enjoyed reading it.
- TeaLeaf
That sent chills down my spine. It was like watching a movie in slow motion, the description was simply that good. I love how your character's mind is reflecting in his last few moments it makes the scenario seem so much more surreal. Your choice of vocabulary is also great, it really showcases your talent, clearly you know what you're doing. So make sure to keep up the good work!
(side note)- make sure to stay awesome