The jealousy i feel when i hear their songs. The jealousy i feel when i read their stories.
i feel i will never be able to make a story that makes people feel.
i feel i will never be able to make a song that makes people dance.
Why would my work matter when it sucks? Why would my voice matter if i can’t speak without checking my phone?
Their songs make me cry. Their stories make me feel something.
i want to create. i want to be able to put my feelings to words.
i even fail at that.
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142,052 Literary Works • 676,487 Reviews
Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Am moon!!
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
I think this poem is about the speaker's frustration, self doubting about their work. And they comparing their works to others and feel their works doesn't matter. And it always happen with everyone. But don't forget our works are different than others we have our own style and uniqueness.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
I don't have suggestion
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
Overall it felt like an diary entry rather than poem. It was good. My favorite part is
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall it has that heavy, sad vibe to me. So keep writing!! Thank you for sharing.
" The jealousy i feel when i when i read their stories." This line why there is when i twice? Is it mistyped?
My initial thought reading this is how honest and relatable it is! It really captures the frustration of wanting to create while struggling with self-doubt. What I think was good was when you wrote, "the jealousy I feel" and "I feel I never will", the repetition of that really gives the reader a strong pull!. Also the line about being unable to speak without checking your phone is a great modern detail!!!
Now for the feedback: Sometimes it sorta gets a little monotonous so maybe try replacing words with other descriptive words or show how it feels instead of just telling the reader. And then maybe add a bit more specific details like that phone line!
Yea, I was mostly writing how I felt in the moment which is why it could seem a little bland (lol)
Thanks for the feedback!
The cover is a bit much, no?
Well... was.