Extraterrestrial

I really like this idea that you captured. I enjoyed the small amounts of imagery you have, but I wish there was more. It's lacking something; I think if you figure out what that detail is and expose it in your work, the piece will be even stronger than it already is. I do love this piece though. I'm typically not a fan of poems this length because I feel they lack something deeper. I hope you find that one thing that makes your work even deeper.

Keep writing,
E

This is very beautiful. Love the use of examples such as " I'm a splash of color on a white canvas". However, I feel like there is something that could be added. Anyone could write a poem about feeling alienated, but you are not anyone, you are you. I feel like this could need a sentence that makes it your own, or a few sentence! I have to agree with @PrincessInk on this one. A lot of untapped potential!

Hi @EverlastingFlame. Just Knight Ink here for a quick review.

So this has a lot of untapped potential. Here's why. I really love the third and fourth lines. The imagery there was vivid in my opinion and I feel as if they can be expanded into something larger. Something that makes the poem *your* poem. Just as an analysis, I feel as if the two lines contrast each other and that was rather interesting. I felt as though "splash of color" meant you were the special; while "distorted sheet" is obviously the emotion you intended to convey in the second half.

I also felt the flow of the poem was a little choppy. Every thought of the poem ended on one line without flowing into the next, seamlessly forming into a smooth poem. The flow of thoughts was rather jumpy too. In my opinion, they moved really fast. So like I said before, this poem has a lot of potential. Places it can be expanded on, emotions it can explore. Perhaps you could try a metaphor (like the third or fourth line). Or maybe you could zoom in a little for "Laughter" or the speaker's resignation.

I think that's all I've got to say. Drop me a note in my inbox if you want to discuss more of it. I hope this review helped but wasn't too harsh.

Hey there, EverlastingFlame!! With3r3dros3 here for a review. This is my first time coming across your work, so I'm VERY excited to review it!

I'm just going to say that the first time I read the poem, I absolutely loved it!! It was easy to read and imagery was present. There are a lot of things I love about this poem and I'm about to talk about it. I did notice one tiny mistake but I'll get to that in a little bit.

I really like the structure of the poem. Even though your poem isn't in stanzas, that's okay because I like how it's all in lines. I think it really flows together nicely. Especially the way you ended the poem. I love the way you ended the poem!

As I said earlier, imagery was present. I do love the imagery you used with these lines:

I'm a splash of color on a white canvas

I am distorted sheet in a field of photocopies

I am a distorted sheet in a field of photocopies

Used to being devalued