Slow Dancing, Slow Crashing

I had gotten myself into a huge mess. Alli caught me with Mark after the Ice Skating party she threw before winter break officially ended. And now, all of my friends refused to acknowledge my presence. Mark had just barely gotten into the group of friends he wanted, and of course, being caught with me would have been devastating for his tender social life. He played it off as either, "She made it up," or "I was just messing around, seeing how far I could get.". When I heard these rumors, I scoffed. If you could classify a kiss as "getting far". I continued through life, pretending it never happened. No one asked me about it, so it wasn't difficult. As I walked down the hallways at school, I looked for my friends, hoping to be able to make amends with them. I saw Alli walking towards me, so I waved.

"Hi Alli, how's it going?" I asked as she passed. She lifted her nose in the air and made a cocky little "hmph" sound. I stared at the ground until I reached the commons area. I may have blown it with that clique of friends, but lucky little me belonged to several cliques. I made my way to the back corner, where no tables or chairs were set up. Just like my dorky friends, to sit on the floor.

"Hey guys," I sighed as I sat down. Nathaniel smiled at me, but didn't speak. I watched in hidden disgust as he shoved half a piece of pizza in his mouth. Daphne sat next to him, and this group's duff, Rea, sat next to her. I was sandwiched between Nathaniel and Brycen. They were both okay looking, and they were cool. But Nathaniel was awkward, and Brycen was a serious player. Two things I really struggled to deal with.

"Hey Rachel," Brycen practically cooed at me. I shot him a fake smile. The only reason I actually hung out with this group was because of Daphne. She had been my older sister's friend before she graduated, and so we had already known each other when I got into high school. I was the only Junior in a group of Seniors, besides Brycen, who was a Sophomore. I got along great with these guys, but in all honesty, I hated being in a friend group with the dorky rejects. I would have rather been with Alli and Taylor, who were popular.

I was jerked out of my thoughts by Daphne screaming, "Rea! Nathaniel and I are NOT and NEVER WERE dating!" I made a wow-this-argument-again face and stared at them. Rea was always making up crazy things like that. Nathaniel and Daphne dated totally different people. Daphne was always with jock-ish guys, and Nathaniel was always with really pretty girls, for some strange reason. I stood up and Nathaniel joined me. I was NOT going to stick around for that scene.

"She's always making stuff up like that." He was obviously frustrated. I shrugged.

"She's just compensating for her lack of a social life." I said. Rea was nice enough, but honestly, we didn't get along at all. I pointed to a sign that read "The Big Freeze - semiformal winter dance" in big sparkling letters. "Are you going to go to that?" I asked him.

"I would... if I had a date." He said, giving me a look. I laughed.

"Then ask someone." I said.

"Will you go to the Big Freeze with me?" He said without missing a beat. I gawked at him for a second before replying.

"Are you being serious right now?" I asked. He nodded and I relaxed. So it wasn't a joke.

"I'd love to." I said. I tried not to get too excited. I had accidentally hinted to him at the New Year's eve party that I wanted to be asked to a dance for once, so I could finally wear the dress I had bought. I breezed through the rest of my classes and through the next few days. Soon the dance was only a few days away, and I felt totally unprepared. Nathaniel hadn't talked to me since when he asked me. Once word got around that me and him were going on a date, Alli and Audrey started talking to me again. They figured that the date meant we were an item, which, I wasn't going to correct them, but it was totally untrue.

After school one day, Audrey, Taylor, and I were sitting on my bedroom floor, painting our nails. I was doing it for the dance. They were going to a party at someone's house because they hadn't been asked. I was invited, but I was going to the dance instead.

"I think, like, half the Junior class is going to Meg's party." Taylor said.

"Does that mean Nate and Mark?" Audrey squealed. I tried to look as bored as possible at the mention of Mark's name. Apparently I hid the stabbing pain in my chest well.

"Of course. Although I hear they're hanging out with Connor and Reed and all of their punk friends." Taylor said. She looked at me. "Is that true?" I opened my mouth for a second, unsure of how to respond. Yes, they were hanging out with the "bad boys" that all the popular kids hated. But I knew that Mark didn't like it. He only stuck with them because Nate wanted to, and Nate would probably end up stealing a car if Mark left him alone for more than two minutes.

"Yeah." I said, "They are." I kept it short and simple, which pleased my friends. Ugh, having a social life was a chore. My IPhone buzzed beside me. Audrey and Taylor leaned over my shoulders to look at the screen, which I picked up and pressed to my stomach.

"Is that Nathaniel?" They both mock cooed at me. I rolled my eyes and swiped open my phone.

Hey, I just found out that I have a track meet the day of the Big Freeze. I don't think I can go. I read. My face went pale and I threw my phone to Taylor to read the text. Her mouth fell open in genuine disgust. I think she was the only one of my friends that was ACTUALLY my friend.

"How rude!" She fumed. She hadn't ever gone to a dance either, so we understood each other.

"I know. What do I say?" I whispered.

"Tell him he should have known that before he asked you." Audrey huffed as she stared at her nails. She cared enough, I guess.

"Tell him you guys can go to the dance late and that you don't want to cancel." Taylor said. I was desperate enough to salvage the date without Taylor's encouragement.

I began typing. K, thanks for telling me. Txt me if anything changes. I let Taylor and Audrey see it, and they nodded. I hit send and threw my phone on the ground.

"Shouldn't he have known about that before he asked?" I fumed.

"Duh." Audrey said, "I think he was just making up a lame excuse. What a jerk."

"Well, don't get to upset about it." Taylor told me, "That just means you're coming to Meg's party with us." I smiled at the thought of a replacement. The few days slipped by with me purposefully avoiding Nathaniel, and Taylor came back over to get ready for the party with me. Nathaniel had never texted me, so I assumed that meant we weren't going.

"Put this on!" Taylor threw a dress at me and I smiled. It was the dress I was going to wear to the Big Freeze. It had a skirt made out of dark blue, glittery tulle that went to my knees. The top was cream with a simple cut and short sleeves. I thought it was beautiful.

"Isn't this just a tad fancy for a party?" I asked.

"No! Meg said to wear what you would have worn to the dance." She said. I slipped it on and Taylor curled my long blonde hair. Her dress was a mint green silk with a gold fabric tie around the middle. She had her hair in a bun with a gold clip.

"Ok, lets go." I said, and we walked out to my car. I drove to the large house on the hill, which had people filing in. It did look like a good 100 people were already there. We walked in, and people were crowded into her large living room. She had taken all the furniture out of that room and turned it into a dance floor. People were upstairs, downstairs, just everywhere. Taylor and I started jumping up and down to the beat of a rock song before Audrey and Alli found us. Alli was linked arms with Mark, and Audrey with Nate. I put on my fake smile and greeted her, which she did not respond to. Mark was staring at me, looking me up and down. His smile was faint, but definitely there. I responded with a flat, disinterested look. I stood in the awkward circle and listened to them talk about meaningless nonsense. I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Alana!

"Rachel!" She yelled over the music.

"Hey!" I shouted back, "I didn't know you were going to be here!"

"I just got a text from Daphne!" Alana replied.

"Yeah?" I yelled, totally confused.

"You'll never guess who's at the Big Freeze right now!!" Alana yelled. My heart stopped beating for a second. I asked the question I already knew the answer to.

"Who?" I yelled, with a dry mouth.

"Nathaniel! With Phoebe Young!" Alana told me. My face flushed with anger. Phoebe was a cheerleader. She was pretty and peppy, but completely shallow and slutty. I clenched my fist and nodded. I tried not to care as I turned back to Alli and Audrey, but they were gone. I looked at Mark, Nate, and Taylor.

"What's wrong?" Mark asked me.

"Nothing." I spat back. I grabbed Taylor's arm and dragged her out of the heart of the party.

"What's up?" She said. I could finally hear myself talk.

"Nathaniel's at the Big Freeze. With Phoebe." I said. Her eyes narrowed.

"Phoebe Young?" She asked.

"Yep." I replied, drily. Mark and Nate were standing behind us and as I whipped around, I almost ran into Mark. He grabbed my shoulders.

"Your date's at the dance with someone else?" He asked.

I shrugged off his hands and glared at him. "Not that it's any of your business, but yeah." I growled. I turned to Taylor, "Let's go." I started walking back into the dance floor, but Nate grabbed me.

"Heck no." He said, "You have to go tell that guy off." I pulled out of his grasp but didn't keep walking.

"Yeah!" Taylor said.

"Let's take my car," Mark said. I was reluctant, but I followed them out of the house. We got in his sedan and Mark started driving. I sat up front with him, while Taylor flirted with Nate. At least one of us is having a good time, I thought. We drove up to the school and got in line to pay for our tickets. I pulled out my wallet, only to discover it was empty. Big surprise there. Mark pulled out a twenty to pay for both of us as a couple. I flushed when he said it, and walked stiffly into the dance. Mark followed me and we left Taylor and Nate to fend for themselves. The second we walked in, Mark wrapped his arm around my waist. I threw him another glare.

"He'll be madder if he thinks we're here together." He said. I scanned the room and saw him standing with Daphne and her date. Phoebe was stuck to him like Velcro. I put on a smug face and wrapped my arm around Mark. We strode over to them and I smiled condescendingly at Nathaniel, who looked embarrassed, angry, confused, and guilty at the same time.

"Hey guys," I said.

"Hey..." Everyone said awkwardly.

"How'd your track meet go, Nathaniel?" I mocked. He swallowed thickly.

"Good. We did good." He stammered. Mark just stood there, either staring at me or my friends.

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Nathaniel?" I asked. My voice was icy and I mentally applauded myself for my scariness.

"Yeah." He said. We walked into the hall, where there were hardly any people. Right as we got out there he began talking, "Listen Rachel, I'm sorry, I just... Phoebe showed some interest and --" I cut him off with my icy glare.

"No. You listen. How DARE you do that to me!" I fumed. My voice was low and hard, my eyes turned to stone, "If you had any shred of decency you would have come here with me instead of lying to me and breaking it off. You at least could have told me the truth. And all this time I considered you my friend? Well, I guess I'm just the idiot of the year for actually believing that you were a nice person." I spat out the last words and stormed back into the dance. Mark ran up to me and wrapped me in a hug as a tear slipped out of the corner of my eye. I rested my head on his chest and wiped at my eye.

"Are you okay?" He whispered. I nodded against his chest and tried to pull away. He wouldn't let me. So we stood there like that, eventually starting to sway to a slow song that came on. I listened to the words as he rocked me.

"You should be mine tonight

You should be holding me tight.

I should be yours tonight

And be dancing in the moon light."