Definition of Freedom

Nice job! The vote? At first I couldn't choose between the falcon and the stallion. Later I picked the stallion because Falcons are predators. Predators and Freedom don't really go together. I love the poem.

Hi there. Lavvi in to review.

Interesting idea you undertook. I've definitely read many poems like these before, so to me, it's nothing very special. But don't take that too personally, it's good.

I like the personifications you used, very poetic creatures However, I'm not a huge fan of how it just ended. You might want to ease off with another stanza or two. It won't make it feel so sliced.

I like it.

Lavvi

Freedom is a golden falcon,
soaring in the clear blue sky,
pushing itself higher and higher,
until the falcon and earth have no tie.

Freedom is a onyx stallion,
tearing across the vast green plains,
its strong legs pushing it faster,
until hidden is all the beauty it contains.

Freedom is a pearl white shark,
swimming deep into the great blue,
using its fins to pull itself deeper,
until its pearly beauty is hidden from all view.

I liked how you use the metaphor in this poems and there's great imagery in there as well.
So well done for that.
Just some little nitpicks:

EternityRain wrote:Freedom is a golden falcon,
soaring in the clear blue sky,
pushing itself higher and higher,
until the falcon and earth have not (a?) tie.

Freedom is an onyx stallion,
tearing across the vast green plains,
it's strong legs pushing it faster,
until hidden is all the beauty it contains.

Freedom is a pearl white shark,
swimming deep into the great blue,
using it's fins to pull itself deeper,
until it's pearly beauty is hidden from all view.

I love poems about freedom, and this is one of the best ones. I love these lines:

Freedom is a pearl white shark,
swimming depp into the great blue,
using its fins to pull itself deeper,
until its pearly beauty is hidden from all veiw.