Death Avenue

This is really thought provoking... I love the rythm to it because it's like you can't stop reading, in the same way that the traffic can't stop in the poem. This effect could be emphasized with a more consistent rhyming pattern? Other than that I loved it, particualarly the metaphor of the traffic.

I made the mistake of having dark music playing in the background while reading this. It's interesting to see what you keep coming up with. The only thing I noticed was that it seemed to rhyme in some places, and not in others, and I'm not sure if you meant to do that or not. Other than that, though, this was interesting to read, and I like how it makes you think about society in a certain way. Keep writing, EtCetera!

This is a very interesting poem. I love the concept and your style. The flow is very good, it almost has a beat to it, which I quite liked. Very well-thought-through. Great work!

Keep writing!
-Greena

I like this poem, the way you used a street as a metaphors for Death. It's quite an interesting one.(

He walks into the street
To start away Don't think 'away' fits in here home again.

Thanks. I think I was trying to touch on the machine of society here....? I was in a depressing mood at the time. Of course, reading Doctor Zhivago probably didn't help anything.

Wow, really cool idea here. Kind of sad and eerie at the same time. There was a really clear mental picture in my head, and the whole thing was just interesting. I don't have anything to say really, just...interesting....
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver