Good Bye, Jacen.

Thanks.

This... Isn't much poetry.

I am left only to assume you are new to poetry? I have several suggestions for new poets:

1. Read poetry. Read it like if you don't, you will die. Examine it, don't just read it. What makes it pretty, what makes it flow? Why do you like it/dislike it (Because you shouldn't write something you hate!)

These last two suggestions are...risky ones I give out. Its one of those things "You can't break the rules, until you know them"

2.Rhythm. Create patterns. Have each line have ten syllables (or eight, or seven, or five; what ever you want) or maybe have four lines to each stanza/verse. I'm big on poetry and pattern, but thats me. And again, until you can write a poem with such skill (syllables suck at times!) then you probably shouldn't write free verse (free verse=the absence of any real...pattern. At least that what I think it is, don't take my word for anything)

3. And this is one that you should tread lightly. Rhyme. but don't force the rhymes, no matter what, you have to flow. If the rhymes come out too forced it will be "Yuck" trust me.

Try looking around the site, and read the poetry, there are a lot of poets around here that do have some good skills, and you can learn from their style.

Sorry I didn't critique your poem, and instead gave you tips If you have any questions, or want some help with your poetry, feel free to PM me.