Young Writers Society

Nowadays people tend to be around people who know nothing about them, and the vice versa is true. And we tend to be lonely when so many people are around us because we are all in meaningless relationships. So many secrets and so much pretense.

I loved your piece ,it's creative and interesting

Nowadays people tend to be around people who know nothing about them, and the vice versa is true. And we tend to be lonely when so many people are around us because we are all in meaningless relationships. So many secrets and so much pretense.

I loved your piece ,it's creative and interesting

Hey there!
This is quite an interesting piece. I liked the way you described loneliness. Your prisoner comparison was probably my favourite! I have a few things I'd like to point out if you don't mind. These are just suggestions, so you don't have to listen to them if you don't want to!

Do not take it the other way round,

I hope you don't let the monsters make a sound;

The monsters of doubt, mistrust and fury,

I hope you defeat them and keep talking to me.

I fear of losing you and getting forgotten,

As i become workaholic for getting money

Walls keep changing,

Purpose the same.

--

Walls of the hut would undoubtedly change,

Only to let the showers drizzle,

And let the drought-struck heart heal a little

Don't take it the other way round,

I hope you don't get hurt because of me,

I didn't mean to hurt you,

I just don't know how to tell you about it.

Hello, Eros, I'm Lee, and here to review your poem.
It was a touching piece, in all honesty. Loneliness and introversion are delicate matters, and you've portrayed them well.
I'll get to the review without further ado.

In multiple places, you didn't capitalize your "I"s.

For no one wants to know the prisoners.

To see you each time take a step back

Walls keep changing,

Purpose the same.

Walls of hut would undoubtedly change,

To that of palace

I want you to listen their spitty hiss, babes,

let the drought struck heart

I hope you don't get hurt because of me,

I didn't mean to hurt you,

I just don't know how do i tell you about it.

Hello there,

I'm coming to review your piece of poetry right now, so let's begin.

I'm just going to pick through stuff I like and comment, also adding criticism for things I think can improve along the way. Like originality or flow.

First of all, capitalization every line can ruin a flow of a poem if done incorrectly via style and theme matter, and this is more themed on heavy subjects. I think that this poem can benefit from a change because the topic is very harsh with passion. Maybe try to mix it up with no capitalization as I think it would be more pleasing to the eye and brain.

The secrets burried buried in the graveyard of my heart

Walls of hut would undoubtedly change