Published July 2, 2010
I wrote this at the end of ninth grade.
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A Nighttime Lullaby
The sun has set far beyond
To settle in distant lands.
The blacks fade into the sky,
Smooth to the touch of your hands.
The small stars shine gently down
On your forest that is home.
The moon glows very softly
In its vast celestial dome.
All the insects chirp and sing,
And they call the frogs along,
In a timeless melody,
To create their nighttime song.
The sun's kind warmth disappears
As the moon cools the dim earth.
This soft frozen darkness is
Of numerous sounds, the birth.
A wolf howls to his brothers
Who prowl elsewhere in the cold,
All gazing through the forest
With their eyes of splendid gold.
Bats flap their wings far away
And owls hoot into the night.
They produce a haunting sound
'Til comes the bright morning light.
Skies grow pink as comes the dawn.
The sun rises in the sky,
And brings a marvelous end
To this nighttime lullaby.
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140,552 Literary Works • 673,424 Reviews
I agree with her! It was great, making the animals use their music...I couldn't have said it better than JaneThermopolis. Love this poem! keep it up!
I really loved this poem!
Honestly, it had no hidden message or anything behind it, but I still thought the poem itself was written beautifully. You did a good job with always flowing from one scene in this dark forest to the next. It was almost like....perhaps...a lullaby??
I liked the words you selected; very pretty. I didn't notice any grammatical errors either.
I don't think I can review anything because I couldn't find anything wrong with this poem. I just wish this had more views!!!
Keep writing,
Jane
Wow. Just wow. I really loved the rhythm of this piece and how easily it flowed. Your wording is wonderful and the descriptions really draw the reader into the world it sort of creates. It paints a very vivid picture in the imagination and I love when a poem can do that. Great work!
~Corrine
Well I like a lot of the wording that was used, it's really pretty and flowing and soft (like a lullaby). I don't have much in the way of improving except that I think you should incorporate more sounds along with your descriptions and pay more attention to those than you do any other senses because it is more focused on the sounds of night rather than the sights and smells, etc. But I actually think you did a pretty good job in that department anyway.
Keep on writing,
StoryWeaver