The Wall

The Wall

Ah, the very essence of life. But what is life...? When it is lived in such vein. There

sometimes seems to be absolutely no purpose. A soul which weeps, rotting at the

core. Once full and hearty, it’s torn. Thrashed and mutilated by the cruel blade of reality.

These feelings arise, from a trembling demise... I have lost the will to live. I simply

have no more to give. How could this have happened? I was once such a beautiful

soul. Now hardly anything remains, but why? I have no morals, no goal. Hardly a

care. But I certainly used to, and those memories are all I really have anymore.

To the blinded eye, I seem content. Confined, but fine. But who lacks troubles in

this life? That is nothing to complain about. Everybody has to deal, right? Yet I feel

like everything is worth nothing to me. I am shrouded in a mist that confines me

to independency. Perhaps empowered by a veil which lets only me see through to

the inconvenient truth: There is nothing for me here.

Realizing this over the past year, makes me wonder if it’s just depression, or

maybe past suppression. It’s all very confusing. But I was once happy; I once cared

what would become of me. As strange as it may seem, a place I call home was

what gave me a will to live at all. Being so far from sanctuary, I have fallen into

this hole, and it eats away at what is left of my soul. There is nobody to depend

on, to talk with, all by myself.

I know, deep down inside, that I would be so grateful if I could just return to my

home, my roots. I could recover and want to become something in this life. But

the land I stand in now seems like a wall I cannot climb, a barrier I cannot break.

It’s not me, and it never will be. So how can I grow, how can I flourish in such an

infertile soil? Just like a timid penguin in the piercing heat of the desert sand, hopeless.

To be, I have to break down this wall. The wall consists of problems, which are

all bricks in this wall. The problems may be of different substantial meaning, but

the bricks are all the same. They are identical, and these walls tower around me.

I know there is no assistance, this is a personal feat. Besides, nobody

can understand (or at least try to). How can you resolve which you cannot

understand? It’s like trying to do well on an exam you did not study for.

So on this quest I shall partake, always trying to grow stronger, trying to find that

will to be, though I cannot stay like this much longer. For it will kill me for sure,

and when my soul has eroded, I will consist of nothing but shallow and bleak

emotion, forever more.