ESSAY
The 20th century kindled the start of many technological advances such as the personal computer by apple, the creation of the first flying airplane by the wright brothers, and the Model T Ford automobile. But by far, the most significant of these is the invention of Nuclear power after World War II. This type of energy revolutionized the fuel industry. It called for a pollutant free and environmental friendly production since no fossil fuels were being used; furthermore, this evergy saved the US from the energy crisis in the 1970s. As Nuclear fuel definently brought great prosperity, it also affected our environment negatively.
Enrico Fermi is considered a major figure in the discovery of nuclear energy. This physicist born in Rome, Italy was the first scientist to split the atom and his research later led to nuclear power generation. Together with Leo Szilard, Fermi discovered the first nuclear reactor that caused nuclear chain reactions. Nuclear power was created because of the several energy crisis' the US had. This was a major issue after World War II because the alarming rate at which world's natural resources were being consumed. If not for this creation, the US would have suffered greatly from the lack energy. Since the US supported Israel in the Yom Kippur war against Egypt, Arab proposed an ebargo on the United States. Arab raised the price of a barrel of oil from 3 dollars to 12 dollars. As these resources became unaffordable, people were seeking alternative sources to generate electricity for heat and light. Nuclear power was the only practical solution. The discovery of nuclear power has changed the course of US history by perventing millions of people from being afflicted by this problem.
This alternative source of energy not only stopped the energy crisis, but it is more environmental freindly than the common carbon based fuel. Because nuclear energy produces no greenhouse gas emissions, it’s considered a clean-air energy. When compared to other generation staples like coal or natural gas, nuclear energy is considered more capable of meeting the demands of a better, more efficent fuel. These staples produce carbon dioxide which can severely harm the atmosphere; on the contrary, nuclear energy does not burn coal or natural gas to create electricity. It uses a process called nuclear fission to release energy from uranium atoms. This fuel is practially infinite, and therefore is a mostly clean, safe and renewable source of energy.
Though nuclear energy brings many environmental benefits, it is also greatly affected the ecosystem negatively. The used uranium atoms, which had already been drained of their energy, needed to be disposed. Many engineers called this radwaste, or radioactive waste. Even though engineers claim that nuclear energy is safe, the truth is that there is no guaranteed safe means for containment of nuclear materials. The risk of an accident and exposure increases exponentially through each step in the process of mining, transportation, storage, refinement, and use of nuclear power. Every step of this process carries great risk for the environment and the community. Furthermore, Nuclear plants use enormous amounts of fresh water to cool down the machinery. Cases of water contamination with radioactive substances has occurred around over a dozen different nuclear sites around the country. The process of mining materials used in nuclear power plants such as uranium and titanium run a very high risk of water contamination to near by rivers and streams as well as ground water supplies. Similarly, another risky factor with nuclear energy is if it were in incompetent hands. This could cause great devastation, and has. After the war, nuclear weapons such as bombs were created and spread to several countries around the globe. The toxic waste, contaminated water, and risky weapon usage all factor in to make nuclear power less enviromental friendly as it seems.
Nuclear energy has significantly impacted the 20th century positively and negatively. This power source brought us clean energy, but creates toxic waste which cannot ever entirely become contained. Currently, 16 percent of the world's electricity is produced through nuclear power. The U.S. is a major producer of nuclear power with 103 power plants that generate electricity spread over 31 states. Without nuclear power we would have been troubled all throughout the 20th century.
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Hello, darling, let's settle in to review this.
The first thing I noticed is that you seem to have a bit of trouble with capitalizing things. As a rule, names - of people, countries, eras of time, and companies - are capitalized, while random words in the middle of a sentence (such as "Nuclear") are not.
Secondly, you seem to jump from your introduction directly into the scientists, when there was no mention of scientists in the introduction. Clarity and cohesiveness are key in an essay - you want one point to lead easily into the next, not have your reader skimming back saying "okay, did they tell me about this Fermi guy before?" This can be rectified by mentioning the scientists behind nuclear power in your introduction.
Thirdly, in your first body paragraph, you jump between Fermi and the oil embargo, and by the end, I'm fairly sure that you should have split this paragraph at least into two - Fermi and the effects of nuclear power on the war. Generally, a paragraph should keep to one basic idea; if you start going off on a new idea, wrap up that paragraph and start a new one.
I will admit that I skimmed through your last body paragraph before the conclusion, because it all looks like one giant block of text to me. This is usually a sign that you have a lot of ideas in one place, and you could benefit from starting a few new paragraphs. Not every essay has to be 5 paragraphs, intro, 3 body, and conclusion; you can vary the format.
Your conclusion is a weak restatement of your introduction with a few facts thrown in that could have been backed up more clearly in a body paragraph.
Finally, "Arab" is not a place; you might want to do a little more research and find exactly what Arabic countries imposed the embargo - I have a feeling it was more than just Saudi Arabia, and my quick Googling skills tell me that it was OAPEC, the Arab countries in OPEC with the addition of a couple more.
Overall, I encourage you to do a lot more research and extend yourself past the standard essay format for secondary schools - I wasn't convinced of much by this essay, and I certainly am not going to feel very passionately about anything because of it; I also didn't come away with any new or interesting knowledge. An essay should grab its reader by the shoulders and -convince- them if convincing and educating is what it's meant to do.
Keep writing!
Hello, Epic. I don't normally read Essays but it is review day and I'm getting out of my comfort zone. I think it's good to have feedback from someone who isn't exactly in to what you're writing. I did, however, take English just like any other person in school and I'll say that this is how an essay is supposed to be written. I enjoy in the beginning how you describe different technological advances that we've had in the 20th century so you're not just saying, "We brought awesome things!". I also enjoy the transition that you used between the first and second paragraph. Enrico Fermi is not a name I've heard before, and I enjoy learning, so I'm glad to have gotten a little bit of a history/science lesson from your essay. I would have liked to see sources, as they are usually in essays such as this one just so I, as a reader, could look more into this if I had liked to. I realize that it's probably for school/maybe just for fun but I'm awful with history so being able to click on links that direct me to your sources to learn more about things such as the energy crisis would have been cool. I also want to say that I enjoyed how during your essay, you go back to your main point in the first paragraph by reiterating your point. Overall, I think it was a pretty nice essay and as I am not an English teacher, I don't do grammar but if this is for school I hope you get an A!