Published October 13, 2011
Look!
Here, and she'll bow
The crowd is hot
But no one really knows
Who's screaming.
Now!
Execution
Simulation
Jealous,
Who loves who?
When the crowd is
In it to kill.
And try to cry, then
That you're happy;
We brought you here,
But we don't love you.
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Canary word: Present
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140,496 Literary Works • 673,253 Reviews
I really enjoyed the swift pace of the poem, it serves as a nice compliment to the theme (rock and roll concerts). The only mistake would be "brought" instead of "bought". Other than that, great work, and keep on writing. Write On!
I loves this poem, but have a question. In the second to last line in the third stanza to mean bought or brought? I'm just asking cause i think you mean brought.
I just wanted to point it out. But other then that I dont see anything else with it! Great job! 8D