Rock on, moron.

Look!
Here, and she'll bow
The crowd is hot
But no one really knows
Who's screaming.

Now!
Execution
Simulation
Jealous,
Who loves who?
When the crowd is
In it to kill.

And try to cry, then
That you're happy;
We brought you here,
But we don't love you.

Comments & reviews · 3
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Look!
Here, and she'll bow
The crowd is hot
But no one really knows
Who's screaming.

Now!
Execution
Simulation
Jealous,
Who loves who?
When the crowd is
In it to kill.

And try to cry, then
That you're happy;
We bought you here,
But we don't love you.


I really enjoyed the swift pace of the poem, it serves as a nice compliment to the theme (rock and roll concerts). The only mistake would be "brought" instead of "bought". Other than that, great work, and keep on writing. Write On!

User avatar
Mysticfury Review

I loves this poem, but have a question. In the second to last line in the third stanza to mean bought or brought? I'm just asking cause i think you mean brought. ;) I just wanted to point it out. But other then that I dont see anything else with it! Great job! 8D



The author of my life has some ambitious ideas for me to become a super villain
— FireEyes