This Curse

Hey! Welcome to YWS! I'm Durrie, and I'm your reviewer for - ugh - now!

EmmerzRaye wrote:You can spit out your slanders,
And you can cast your spells.
But you won't catch me,
Because I know all too well,
What you have in mind,
And it won't work this time. < (in this I think there are to many commas, and it doesn't read well. Otherwise, good!)

Get out of my way.
Give me more room. <3I need time to think.
I just can't trust you. < ( this seems out of place, but I don't know how you would fix that...)
It's not gonna work.
Quit making it worse.
I need time to think. < (I think a comma would go better here)
Break free from this curse. <(nice)


You can beg for forgiveness,
And you can show me all your pain, < (maybe take the 'and' out?)But I'm not gonna listen,
Because it's all just the same,
What you want to prove,
And you are going to lose. < (what? This last bit doesn't make sense.)

Get out of my way.
Give me more room.
I need time to think.
I just can't trust you.
It's not gonna work.
Quit making it worse.
I need time to think.
Break free fromsthis curse.


They say hate's a strong word,
And I believe it all too true.
But it won't stop all the daggers,
That I'm aiming at you.
You had all your chances.
Time to give up on the fight.


Get out of my way.
Give me more room.
I need time to think.
I just can't trust you.
It's not gonna work.
You just make it worse.
I need time to think.
Break free froms this curse.